


The House In The Meadow (UNB)

by Ambrosia_Ragweed



Category: UNB (Band)
Genre: Cute Kids, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, making your own family, mild theft, runaways - Freeform, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-05-07 08:33:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14667306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrosia_Ragweed/pseuds/Ambrosia_Ragweed
Summary: This story was inspired by a picture book my mom used to read to my sisters and I when we were little. I was hoping for a cute fluff piece but this is what I ended up with. My goal is for each of the cousin's backstory to slowly be revealed over time. If you have a scene or a little plot idea that works well with this AU and you want to see if I can write it, contact me on twitter. If I can write it, then I will give you credit. Comments and suggestions encourage a writer to write. I hope you like it.Euijin is 15Feeldog and Daewon are 13Marco is 12Hojung and Hansol are 10June is 7Chan is 6Kijoong is 4*I need to fix the ages in the chapters





	1. Chapter 1

**DAEWON LOST AND FOUND**

  


In a meadow surrounded by woods, there was a little house and, in the front yard, there grew two old gnarled apricot trees whose branches grew downwards and came close to touching the earth. If you were a child in the summertime, those branches created a perfect little shady place that imagination could easily turn into a fort. In winter, the trees provided a little shelter for the small birds that refused to migrate to warmer places. Eight cousins lived in the house. The oldest was only fifteen, and the two youngest were eight. They were a lively bunch, always goofing around and forgetting to speak quietly when they played. Their shouts could be heard from one end of the meadow to the other. Every day except for market day they practiced their dancing and singing.

  
Very early in the morning on market day, they left the little house, making sure to lock it up tight, and walked along overgrown car tracks to the main road which snaked around the mountain and down into the city that covered the hills below. There they waited for a bus, mostly filled with elderly from the mountain villages, who went to the city market to sell the things they grew. In the winter, the bus was nearly empty. Slowly, stopping here and there the way buses do, the vehicle made it’s way to the city. At last, they reached the noisy city with it’s towering buildings and crowded sidewalks. They walked the few blocks to a little square situated beside the market street that was perfect for performing. Here they showed off all the talents they practiced. They danced and lept and sang and even did a few gags, anything they could for the coins watchers threw into a small plastic pail. With this money, they bought all the supplies that they could for the week. Sometimes, when the weather was awful, they made hardly anything. They stretched the food as far as they could. An occasional chicken might’ve gone missing from one of the neighboring farms or a few cabbages from a field. Nothing much. They tried as hard as they could to live an honest life.

  
A friendly lady at the recycling center let them dig through the old clothes that other people didn’t want, to find things that fit them. When she asked about their parents, they lied and said they worked at the nearby factories. One time, Euijin found a brown stuffed bear that was missing an arm and eye in a pile. He hid it and later, when they were back home, gave it to Feeldog. He fixed the stuffed animal right up, sewing a new arm and replacing the eyes with two big brown matching buttons. He even made the bear a cape and crown. Hansol slept cuddling that bear every night.

  
Euijin was the oldest, but Feeldog was the one in charge. They both tried to teach the younger kids the things they remembered from school. Hansol’s favorite thing, besides the bear, was when the wind whistled through the branches of the old trees in the yard causing the windchimes to make music. (Feeldog had made the windchimes from things other people threw away like metal spoons and cans.) Hojung, the quietest of the cousins with a sweet smile, taught himself to play the old guitar they'd found. He’d sit on the front porch and practice. Hansol turned circles or made up dances to the music while Chan sang. Sometimes, Daewon would join in and teach them songs he’d made up. Marco fished in the stream that ran through the woods; during winter, he’d have to break a hole in the ice. He tried to teach the younger boys, but Chan had a hard time sitting still and Jun was too loud, he scared the fish away. Hansol liked to bring books and read beside Marco when the weather was good. In the grey morning light just before daybreak, Daewon liked to half hang out the upstairs window to watch grazing elk and listen to the birds sing. He could be silly sometimes, laughing so his whole body shook and he’d reach out to shake the person closest to him. He was quick to give hugs if he saw that someone was sad. Like any family, there were clothes to wash, food to cook, dishes to clean, and floors to sweep. Sometimes there were arguments. Euijin and Feeldog then called a family meeting. They’d talk about their problems till they agreed on a solution. Mostly, they lived happily.

  
Life flowed on like that from late Autumn till early spring when the trees started to sprout new leaves from their buds. That market day, the sky was a clear blue with few clouds, and it was almost warm, except when the cold wind picked up. People packed the market, the surrounding streets, and the square. They made quite a bit of money from busking. Marco charmed the women selling fish cakes into giving them a discount. He tried his third eye smile on the butcher, but the man just humphed and said that he should be more serious. The butcher did put a little extra in the bag when Hansol quietly stared at him with his big deer eyes and Chan chattered at him sweetly. Euijin and Feeldog proudly smiled at each other. Their kids knew how to be charming.

  
“Where’s Daewon?” Jun suddenly asked as they started to leave the market.

  
Euijin turned around and counted: one, two, three, four, five, six, and he made seven. Daewon was missing.

  
“He stopped to pet a dog, but I thought he was behind me.” Marco bit his lip the way he always did when he was worried.

“This is why everyone needs to hold hands.” Feeldog snapped and instantly regretted how harsh his voice sounded. He turned to Euijin, “Let’s split up and meet by the fountain. I’ll take Jun and Hojung. Euijin, you take Chan, Marco, and Hansol.”

“But I want to go with Hansol.” Jun pouted.

Feeldog sighed but rearranged the two teams. He tried to think positive thoughts and not worry too much about Daewon.

In the end, they searched the whole market and the nearby side-streets They couldn’t find him. Both groups headed back to the fountain to meet and come up with a plan. On a bench, there sat Daewon with an unkept toddler on his lap. The little boy was munching on a steamed bun. His hair was so dirty that it was impossible to tell what color it was and had mats in it.

“Daewon had a baby!” Jun loudly exclaimed as he let go of Feeldog’s hand and ran to greet the older cousin. Hansol tugged free and followed suit.

“Are you going to let him bring a baby home?” Hojung asked. “You said no to the three-legged dog last week.”

“We don’t have the money to feed a dog,” Euijin answered before Feeldog could.

“Babies don’t eat much though,” Chan said.

“Why is the baby wearing a leash?” Marco wondered.

They sat down on the benches that ringed the fountain. The toddler walked behind Feeldog and wrapped his arms around Feeldog's shoulders in a back hug before planting a big kiss on his cheek. The toddler laughed and happily clapped when Marco showed him his third eye smile. Daewon flapped his coat like it was wings and hopped from one leg to another like a bird, the little boy begged, “again. Again!” He liked it when Chan and Jun sang to him.

“Why is he wearing a leash?” Euijin quietly asked Daewon when the younger ones played with the little kid, in a voice that was just loud enough that only Feeldog and Daewon could hear.

“I found him in front of the Fire station. They have a baby box there. Someone had tied the leash to a tree. I guess they didn’t want him anymore.” Daewon looked on the verge of tears. He understood what it was like to be abandoned and rejected but somehow still had a soft heart that loved easily. “His name is Kijoong. He doesn't know his mother's name or how old he is. ”

Who, Feeldog thought, could treat a baby the same way they would a dog? Daewon and Euijin had both bounced around from one bad foster home to another. Daewon’s last home had kicked him out but still kept taking the money the state paid them to look after him. He’d been squatting in an unfinished office building that didn’t have electricity or running water when they’d found him. Daewon wouldn’t understand why they couldn’t take in the toddler.

Euijin's gaze connected to Feeldog's. He sighed. Very gently, Euijin took the leash off Kijoong. “Jun and Hansol are outgrowing their pants. We need to go to the recycling center before it closes.”

Feeldog lined the kids up in pairs, insisted they hold hands, and they were off. The lady at the recycling center looked at them funny when they showed up with a toddler. “He’s the neighbor’s kid. She asked us to look after him.” He lied. He had Hansol and Jun look for pants that fit while the others dug around the huge heap of clothes for clothes that fit the toddler. The recycling center also took in books and magazines. They each picked out something they wanted to read, although some picked board books for Kijoong. The recycling lady found a large stuffed giraffe for him and a cap with mouse ears.

Afterward, they caught the last bus home. The little one slept curled like a puppy on the seat between Marco and Daewon. At home, they shoved all the clothes and the giraffe into the washing machine to run while they made dinner. They ate, made sure the younger kids showered, Daewon bathed a crying Kijoong. They’d had to make him stand in the small tub to get washed up. Daewon dried him off and dressed him in footed pajamas that snapped up.

The small house only had one bedroom and a loft. They had lined up old mattresses to make one giant bed on the floor of the loft where they all slept together. Euijin and Feeldog tucked everyone in for the night. They quietly climbed down the loft ladder and sat close together on the sofa.

Feeldog listened to Euijin talk about the day’s events while, quietly in his head, he worried about the future. A soft rain pelted the windows. Someone had to own this house. People might ignore a group of boys running around playing at the market, but they’d notice a toddler.

He’d been running wild as a lookout for a gang when he met Marco and Euijin. He’d grown up in a family where no matter how well he did; it was never good enough to make his father happy. He’d constantly be compared to the kids that were top of the class or distinguished themselves in some other way and always came up short in his father’s eyes. He’d seen Euijin dancing in the square and had been jealous at the attention from the crowd. Dancing was one of the few things he was good at and received recognition for his talent. At first, Euijin was his rival, and then he was his friend. Marco and Euijin lived in the same foster home. They always talked about running away, but Feeldog had been the one to say, “let’s do it for real.” They’d lucked out finding the house, and Euijin hadn’t asked any questions when Feeldog picked the locks letting them inside. (Later, Marco found a key under a rock by the apricot trees.) Slowly, they found the other boys in the villages and the city. Some had bruises on their bodies while others wore their scars on their souls. At night, it wasn’t uncommon for Hansol to have nightmares. He fought sleep by talking to Jun or whoever was up. Feeldog wasn’t sure how long they could continue to live like this. At twelve, he was just a kid himself.

Feeldog leaned over and rested his head on Euijin shoulder, and Euijin gently wrapped an arm around him. Euijin worried about all the huge amount of responsibility that Feeldog had to carry. He felt guilty and grateful. At fifteen, Euijin was older but Feeldog, at twelve, was a natural leader. Old memories came back to haunt him, the ones he’d never told anyone, but feeling the weight of Feeldog's head and the quiet sound of the younger teen’s breathing grounded him. Thunder growled in the distance, but they were safe and dry.

They grew adjusted to the toddler in a short period of time. The apricot trees bloomed and, when the blossoms were old, the wind blew petals on them while they practiced in the courtyard. .


	2. A Soft Heart Unburdened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story was inspired by a picture book my mom used to read to my sisters and me when we were little. I was hoping for a cute fluff piece but this is what I ended up with. My goal is for each of the cousin's backstory to slowly be revealed over time. If you have a scene or a little plot idea that works well with this AU and you want to see if I can write it, contact me on twitter. If I can write it, then I will give you credit. Comments and suggestions encourage a writer to write. I hope you like it.
> 
> Euijin is 14
> 
> Feeldog and Daewon are 12
> 
> Marco is 11
> 
> Hojung and Hansol are 9
> 
> Jun is 7
> 
> Chan is 6
> 
> Kijoong is 3 
> 
> *I need to fix the ages in the chapters

 

### A Soft Heart Unburdened

 

 Marco came down with a severe case of the flu. He’d gone fishing in the rain, happily brought his catch home to be that night’s dinner, and woke up the next morning sick. Somehow Euijin ended up being the one to clean up the mess. Marco, wrapped in a blanket, gazed out a window. He watched Hojun try to teach a morning exercise class to the younger kids who attempted to follow along but teased each other when he signaled someone else out for not paying attention. They reached for the sky, fingers wiggling as they stretched as tall as they could, and then bent over to touch their toes. Daewon kept trying to help little Kijoong do the exercises. Marco joked about the class to Euijin who could tell that he really wanted to be outside with everyone else.   
    Exercise class ended and they started to play soccer. Feeldog, who usually enjoyed a rowdy game of anything, came into the house singing with Kijoong following behind him. “Let’s go for a walk.” He suggested to Euijin. “Daewon said he’d be in soon to look after Kijoong. And Marco has a bucket.”   
   They left the house and walked in an opposite direction of the soccer game. Feeldog was silent and Euijin, who usually talked a lot, was quiet as well. Feeldog picked up a stick as they entered the woods and swung it around. “I’ve been thinking,” he started out. “There’s a lot of us now.”   
   Euijin sideyed him wondering where this was going.   
   Feeldog used his stick to swat at a few plants before throwing it further into the woods. Rather than looking at Euijin directly, he half looked at him, and half looked past him with his gaze focused on something else.“We could make more money if we hit more than one market day. We could split up into different teams.” He suggested.   
   The market in the large city happened seven days a week. Their market day in the town was based on the fact that it was the weekend and kids were always roaming around since there was no school, but, in the towns and villages, it occurs on different days.   
   “We need more money, but,” Euijin paused, “we can’t get caught. If people think that we’re kids skipping school, they might start asking questions.”   
   “I’m tired of being hungry all the time. You and Daewon keep sharing your portions, I’m worried about you.”   
   “Marco set snares to try to catch a rabbit. Hojung helped him.” Euijin didn’t know if he had the heart to kill a rabbit but food was food. Feeldog’s plan had its own hidden dangers. “Going to more than one market is a good idea. We can time our arrival when school gets out. And we’ll just make sure the kids don’t go anywhere they can be recognized. If we’re breaking up into smaller groups, that will be easy.” He reached out, grabbed the younger teen’s shoulder lightly, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He wanted to promise that it would be okay but he’d been told that too often in his own life to believe it anymore. “We’ve got each other. We can figure things out.”   
   They made plans as they walked back to the house. Euijin lightly rested his arm around Feel Dog's shoulder. At home, Hansol was working with Jun and Chan on their reading. First, he had Jun then Chan read aloud from a biography on Gandhi. If they stumbled over a word, he would help them.   
   “Where’s Marco?” Feeldog asked the rest of the cousins.   
   “He said he needed to check something,” Hojung answered.   
    The next morning, Euijin woke up to a commotion downstairs. He climbed down the ladder and, through the picture window, saw all the younger kids clustered around Daewon on the front porch. Marco and Feeldog were still sleeping, but Hojung stood with his arms crossed on the grass facing Daewon and Euijin. He had the same expression on his face as the day they came home from busking to find Kijoong running around the house in only his underwear covered in big black spots. He told them he was a puppy and the spots, they later found out, came from a permanent marker he’d found. Daewon, who’d been watching him, had thought that the game of pretending was so much fun till he realized, when he bathed Kijoong that night, that the spots didn’t come off with soap. It took close to a week for the places to fade away.   
    Hojung saw Euijin staring at him and shook his head in resignation. He wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it.   
   Wearing a rare grimace, Euijin opened the door and stepped on the porch. He was blinded by the bright morning sun, and then he realized that Daewon cradled a young rabbit on his lap. Someone, Euijin assumed it was Daewon, had jerry-rigged a splint. Jun and Chan cooed and pet the pretty, brown rabbit gently. Kijoong timidly copied what they did. His eyes were big. Suddenly, Jun ran off, found a leaf, and ran back to Daewon. He checked to see if the rabbit ate the leaf and looked disappointed when he didn’t, but the disappointment didn’t last long. He ran and grabbed a handful of grass, Chan following close behind.   
   Euijin wasn’t sure what the right way to handle the situation was. “Where did you find the rabbit? He looks hurt.”   
   “Daewon found him tangled in a wire. He has a broken leg.” Chan answered.   
   Feeldog came downstairs with a severe case of bedhead. The hair at the back of his head stuck up in all different directions. He rubbed one eye sleepily. “What’s going on?”   
   “Daewon found a hurt rabbit. It has a broken leg.” Euijin told him, hoping he’d catch on.   
   “Oh, that’s a fat one too.” Feeldog, to sleepy to read the situation, smiled happily.   
   “She’s not fat. She’s pretty.” Jun spoke up.   
   “What are you talking about? That’s one fat rabbit.” Feeldog playfully bickered. He looked at Euijin with wide eyes. “Maybe it’s pregnant.”   
   “We’re going to have baby rabbits?” Chan danced around excitedly.   
   Kijoong stopped petting the rabbit and clapped happily, smiling from ear to ear.   
   This was getting worse and worse. There was no way they could possibly kill and eat that rabbit now, Euijin thought to himself. Out loud he said, “I’ll go make breakfast.”   
   “I’ll help. I like cooking!” Jun volunteered.   
   There wasn’t much to do. Euijin and Jun made watery rice porridge and then added water to already thin soup. While they cooked, Feeldog and Hojung had Chan help them clean an old wire chicken coop next to a dilapidated outbuilding out for the rabbit.   
   “I guess we’re raising rabbits now,” Hojung said as they all sat around the living room on a rug picnic style and ate breakfast.   
   Marco, who’d been woken up by an excited Kijoong, was quiet through the entire meal. It was apparent that he was sick just by looking at his ashen skin and the slightly droopy way he held himself.   
   After breakfast and before dance practice, they all went to check on the rabbit.   
   “I think we should name her Sweety,” Jun suggested.   
   Chan wanted her to have a pretty name like Petal. Hojung surprised everyone by proposing Sunshine. They had a family vote and Petal won by one vote.   
   “Hello, Petal,” Feeldog reached into the coop to pet the newest member of their family who bit him and cowered. “Ow!” He pulled out his hand and blood covered one of his knuckles. He cradled the injured side.   
   “Come on. I’ll clean it up and put a bandage on it.” Euijin offered.   
   Feeldog sat on the front porch, his legs dangling over the side, with his face turned upwards towards the sun. He’d still forgotten to comb his hair, and the tee shirt he wore was a size too large for him. He’d drifted off into his own world. Imaging how he would draw Daewon holding the rabbit and what how the rabbit saw them from its perspective.   
   Euijin returned with a small first aid kit. He cleaned the wound and carefully covered it with a band-aid.   
   “You’re just like our mom.” Hansol teased Euijin. Kijoong was standing next to him, “look,” he said to the toddler, “Euijin is your new momma.”   
   Kijoong smiled and hugged Euijin leg calling him momma.   
   Feeldog and Hansol laughed.   
   After then, Kijoong insisted on calling him, momma.   
   Euijin would look at him and say, “what’s my name?”   
   “Momma.”   
   “No. It’s Euijin.” He’d carefully sound it out for him, but the little kid was stubborn.   
   Marco disappeared during dance practice when he was supposed to be resting. He showed up right before dinner time with two nice sized fish and some eggs. Euijin didn’t ask where the eggs came from, even though he had his suspicions, “What are we going to do if you get so sick that we have to take you to the hospital?”   
   Marco’s bowed his head, “We’ve got to feed the family somehow.”   
   That night, Daewon found Feeldog when he was alone and sat down next to him with his arms wrapped around his legs. He’d brushed his long bangs to one side. “I know I make things harder for you and Euijin.” He confessed. “I knew that the rabbit was supposed to be food but, when I looked into its big eyes, I just couldn’t let anything bad happen to her. I had to help her. She needed me.” He paused, “I know having a baby like Kijong makes life harder too.”   
   Feeldog looked over and saw that two tears had worked their way down Daewon’s cheeks. He’d never seen Daewon cry before. They were the same age, but they were very different in so many ways. “Kijoong is ours now.” Feeldog tried to reassure him, “Euijin and I have a plan Try to think positively. But no more animals.”   
   Marco ended up getting better but, one after the other, they all caught the flu. Euijin was so tired of looking after sick people being the oldest was a pain.   
   Whoever lived in the house before, didn’t have a tv or a computer but they did have a wall full of CDs and a cabinet full of LPs. There was a nice stereo, an old style boombox with a cd player, and a few portable players as well.

   Euijin practiced his own dance moves in the yard behind the house. The boombox played a new age, techno spa cd with a gold Buddha on the cover. Euijin tried to make his body move like water, popping to the beats and rippling his arms and legs as though they were driven by waves. There was a dance crew that took their spot at night that danced that way. He wasn’t that good yet, but if he practiced, one day he would be.  
   Jun and Chan tried to mimic him, exaggerating the waves of their body.   
   “Look!,” Jun shouted, “We’re all wormy.”1   
   Euijin placed his hand on his stomach and threw back his head in laughter.   
   “Momma’s happy.” Kijong smiled as he played with a stick in the dirt.   
   Euijin tried again, “Call me Euijin,” but it didn’t work Kijoong insisted he was ‘momma.’     
   Petal healed, although her hop was a little lopsided and Feeldog had been right, she was pregnant. She gave birth to a litter of three cute little babies. The kids had fun naming them.

   The best thing that happened was when Feeldog took Hansol and Hojung to perform at a seven-day market, they discovered a church that had a food pantry. They came home with a box of canned goods, rice, and other perishables. They’d lied and wrote down an address for a barber shop near the bus station. Between making more money by busking at different markets and the pantry food, they finally were able to go to sleep without listening to a hungry, rumbling stomach.

   The rabbit kits grew larger every day until the day came that it was time to release them. Marco, Hansol, Jun, and Chan scouted around till they found a place that they thought would make a good home for the furry family. All the cousins clustered around the chicken coup and said their goodbyes. Petal, who never did warm up to Feeldog, tolerated Daewon and the others, had a soft spot for Hojung. She let him cuddle her as the others pet her before they set her free. They said their goodbyes to each of the babies and watched as the rabbits, hopping in the long grass by a log, eventually disappeared into the woods.   
    On the way home, Kijoong insisted on being carried. Marco piggybacked him as he buried his face in the teen’s neck and cried. Daewon patted him on his back and tried to say soothing things to him. Chan walked between Euijin and Feeldog, holding a hand from each, while Jun walked close to Hansol’s side.   
   “Wild things need to be free,” Hojung offered in consolation.   
   The next morning, the little house was full of noise and laughter. Feeldog opened all the windows and propped the front door open. Hansol very carefully picked out an lp, blew off the dust the way Feeldog had shown him, and set the needle in the groove. Starting with Euijin and Hansol who couldn’t help rocking and swaying to the music, they all danced in the yard their own made up dances. It was a perfect day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 This directly references the Euijin Worm Cult that existed for a while on Twitter during the early days of the Unit. If you’re reading this, I found your jokes hilarious.
> 
> I had problems with the formatting.


	3. Rainy Spring Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A turbulent spring day at the UNB lost boys house.

After three rainy days in a row, the cousins watched gray clouds move in as they ate their breakfast.

  
“I hate rainy days,” Feeldog mumbled under his breath. An occasional rainy afternoon was okay, but this many days in a row turned the little house into a prison. Practicing dance in the living room was not impossible, but space limited what they could do, and they’d done all the quiet things they could think of to entertain themselves. Plus, he was tired of cleaning up mud. Every time the kids went out and played in the rain, they managed to track mud through the house, even though they took their shoes off by the door. The worst culprits were Chan and Kijoong. They spent the most time stomping in puddles and building mud castles in the front yard.

  
Yesterday, Jun had teased them that their castle looked like poop and they’d ended up having a mud fight, throwing and slinging mud at each other. At the time, Feeldog had even ended up getting involved in the fun but, being older, he’d also ended up having to help clean the floors. So, today he’d told the younger ones that their mud fights would mean time-outs on the stairs. He couldn’t think of any books that he wanted to read, and he was uninspired when it came to art. The truth was he was bored.

  
“You’re in a bad mood today,” Euijin said as helped dry the breakfast dishes.

  
“Tired of the rain,” Feeldog grumbled.

  
Euijin agreed with a sigh, “We all are.”

  
Daewon finished washing the last dish and handed it to Feeldog to dry.

  
“Do you want me to cut your hair?” Euijin asked Daewon.

  
Although Daewon’s hair was so long now that he brushed the top back and made a small ponytail out of it, Feeldog was not sure that Euijin should be the one to trim it. Euijin cut his own hair, and the bangs were uneven. The hair that covered his right ear was noticeably a little longer than that which covered his left.

  
Unaware of what Feeldog was thinking, Euijin continued, “I cut Marco’s hair yesterday.”

  
Marco’s hair looked like he’d let Jun cut it. His cow-lick permanently stuck up and his bangs were as bad as Euijin’s.

  
“Why don’t I,” Feeldog stumbled, “cut it? My mom used to cut mine. I know what to do.” He ended with a lie.

  
Daewon’s eyes darted between Feeldog and Euijin like he was afraid to make a choice. “I like my hair,” he sped up as he continued, “Hansol’s hair is longer than mine.”

  
In that instant, Feeldog decided they were all getting haircuts. Hansol when faced with the same choice as Daewon, chose Feeldog without hesitating. Feeldog wet his hair under the bathroom faucet, had him set in an old kitchen chair with a towel around his shoulders, and brushed his hair until it lay straight. He placed a metal bowl on the younger boy’s head like he’d seen in a drama and carefully cut so that the ends correctly lined up with the rim of the bowl. When he was done, Feeldog carefully took the towel off Hansol and told him to go look in the bathroom mirror.

  
Euijin waited for him to be out of hearing, “he looks like a nerd with that perfect bowl cut.”

  
Jun ran in. He wanted his hair cut like Hansol’s. Feeldog searched for a smaller bowl.

  
All of a sudden, they could hear yelling come from the loft,“I wish Daewon never would’ve had a baby like you,” and then crying. 

Feeldog glanced at Euijin who sighed. 

“I’ll go.” The older teen volunteered.

  
In the loft, Daewon was trying to keep a spitting mad Chan and crying Kijoong apart.

  
“What’s going on?” He asked. 

“Kijoong was playing with Hansol’s bear without asking and, when I told him not to, he wouldn’t listen. Now, look, the crown is missing.” Chan pointed to a blanket-fort one of the older kids must’ve made. Inside, a small gathering of stuffed animals, including Hansol’s bear and Kijoong’s giraffe, looked like they were having a party. “I’m older he's supposed to listen to me. Kijoong just does whatever he wants. And, look,” Chan pushed his arm forward showing a red mark, “he bit me!”

  
“Channi hit me, momma!” Kijoong glared with a pout.

“You hit him?” Daewon finally said something.

“No. I,” Chan quieted down and stared at his hands. He wouldn’t look at either Daewon or Euijin in the face. “I spanked him. My mom always spanked me when I was bad as a baby.”  
Daewon surprised Euijin, “We can play with each other, but we don’t hit each other in anger, ever. That’s in the rules.”

“He doesn’t ever listen to me, and I’m older.” Chan’s lip trembled, and a big fat tear trickled down his cheek. “I didn't spank him hard. I didn’t use a belt.”

Euijin closed his eyes and counted to five before opening them. 

Euijin began dispensing justice, “Kijoong, you shouldn’t bite. The next time you bite someone, I’ll bite you. After lunch, you and Daewon can look for the Bear’s crown.” He ordered Daewon, “Take Kijoong downstairs.”

When they were gone, Euijin wrapped his arm around Chan and held him close. 

“Kijoong is spoiled. He’s a bad apple.” Chan was still angry. 

“Did you like it when your mom spanked you with the belt? Didn’t it hurt?” Euijin lowered his voice. 

Chan didn’t say anything. His little hand made a fist. 

“Adults can be mean, and kids can be mean to each other. But we aren’t mean here. We’re a family, and we look after each other. Kijoong is little and doesn’t know how to listen well. We have to teach him but with patience.” Euijin rubbed Chan’s arm as one or two tears turned into a deluge. “It’s hard to be patient. I know.”

Chan suddenly pushed his arm away, “You let Kijoong call you momma when he is Daewon’s baby!” 

“He’s all of our baby. Daewon is just the one that found him. He didn’t go to the hospital and actually have a baby. Even if he could, Kijoong is too old.”

  
“I know that.” Chan pouted. “My real mom went to the hospital and had two babies with her husband.” He looked up and stared Euijin in the eyes, “You and Feeldog found me in the park.” 

Everything suddenly made sense. “Do you,” Euijin almost choked on the next few words, “want to call me momma?”

Chan nodded solemnly. 

“Only at home. When we’re out busking, you have to call me Euijin.” 

Chan flung himself at Euijin and hugged him happily. Eujin held him for a while before taking him downstairs for Feeldog to cut his hair. 

“Look at me, Chan. I’m handsome like a prince!” Jun showed off his new haircut.

Chan had a hard time sitting still for Feeldog who kept nagging him about how he couldn’t wiggle or his hair would be crooked.

Hojung and Marco came back from the food pantry. They had bought a few packets of instant noodles for lunch. Euijin assumed that they bought them; he never knew with Marco. With all the rain, it was hard to make money performing outside, and their money was tight. He knew that Marco was trying hard to turn over a new leaf and only did things like shoplifting when he had too. But old habits were hard to break.

Daewon had made plastic bag ponchos for Kijoong. He cut arm holes in a kitchen garbage bag and used a small grocery bag with the handles tied at the back as a hat. When they came back inside,

Hojung and Jun were cooking the instant noodles, and the rain was starting to come down in sheets. 

After Daewon helped him take his shoes off, Kijoong ran over to Chan and offered him a handful of spring flowers that he’d picked. Water dripped off his bags and puddled at his feet. “I’m sorry. I love you, Channi.”

Chan took the flowers and hugged the toddler. “You’re all wet,” Chan laughed. Feeldog helped him put the flowers into a pretty blue glass that they placed out of the way on a bookshelf. 

They looked all over and couldn’t find the bear’s crown. 

That night, when most of the cousins were asleep, Euijin kept Feeldog company as he started making a new crown. A quiet RnB album played. He couldn’t understand the English lyrics, but he liked the groove. He read a book from the house owner’s bookcase that was a sad story, and he regretted starting it. He rested the book on his leg and watched as the rain streamed down the window.   
They’d found Chan trying to sleep under a low plastic slide. He’d run away with a full backpack. He’d had a busted lip and black eye from his drunk stepfather. His stepfather, he’d told them, only liked the new babies. He’d played too loud and woke the babies up, causing them to cry. His stepfather had hit him. For a long time, it had been only Feeldog, Euijin, Marco, Daewon, and Chan. Jun and Hansol had come later. His jealousy was understandable. 

Before Euijin moved to a foster home, he lived in a small orphanage where the older kids were expected to look after the younger ones. He’d resented it. Why was he the one that had to do things like help them get dressed, bath, and wipe when they went to the bathroom? Wasn’t that the staff’s job? He’d argued with the director. It was only when he was reassigned to a shitty foster home that he’d realized that the orphanage wasn’t so bad. 

“Do you think I’m becoming an adult?” Euijin asked Feeldog.

Feeldog snorted, “no.”

“We’re all growing up. We can’t stay kids forever.” 

“Who says that we have to be their kind of adults? We’ll be our own kind.” Feeldog reassured him. “Are you upset because you’re a teen mom?”

Euijin tried to kick him, but he dodged. He fell over on his side laughing. 

Later, when they went to bed, Euijin looked at the line of sleeping bodies. Chan had moved his pillow and changed his spot next to where Euijin slept. When Euijin climbed under the covers, he found Chan’s pink elephant in his place. He moved it to the other side of the sleeping boy where Hojung slept, and half woke Chan up. Chan, eyes still closed, snuggled up next to him. His chin close to Euijin’s shoulder and his arm across Euijin’s chest. Most nights, Euijin would’ve rolled him over on his other side, but he let him sleep like that. The sound of all the sleeping cousin’s breaths was like a lullaby. This was, Euijin thought as he drifted off, a family. His first real family.

  
Laying next to him, Feeldog who liked to sleep splayed out and took up most of a mattress by himself dreamed of sunny days.

 


	4. Lamps and Wishes part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan acts as a big brother to Kijoong who is scared when the power goes out.

After two weeks of warm days and sunshine, the cousins developed a habit of spending most of their days outside. They were practicing a new dance routine in the yard when the wind picked up. The wind chimes in the apricot trees twirled and swayed. They chimed loudly. Thunder boomed in the distance followed by a bolt of lightning. Black clouds followed the wind. They rolled in over the treetops, and the first sprinkles of rain started to fall.

Feeldog frowned, "This doesn't look good."

After the second bolt, he sent everyone indoors. A few seconds later, Hojung stuck his head through the bathroom door. "Power is out."

"You all know what to do," Feeldog ordered.

They all ran to grab the supplies and get everything set up for when the sun went down. There was still enough light coming in through the windows for them to see. The bathroom with its one tiny, square window that they had to crank open was the exception.

Hansol and Jun began shutting windows on the first floor except for those facing the porch. Daewon scrambled up the ladder to close the windows in the loft. Chan's job was to get the camping lanterns out of a trunk in the owner's bedroom. They weren't allowed to play or use the owner's things unless they had a need. They didn't know who the owner was but, as Euijin said, "they were borrowing the house for a while, so they needed to take care of it."

Momentarily confused, Chan searched the wrong chest, and underneath strange masks, he found an old brass oil lamp. He didn't know what the object was at first except that it tickled something at the back of his memory. He felt he should know what it was. He was sitting there on the ground gazing at the lamp when Jun found him.

"What are you doing?" Jun asked. "You know we're not supposed to go through that trunk."

Chan set the lamp down, shut the lid, and opened the twin trunk that sat right next to it. The lanterns lay on top, tightly packed in with other camping supplies.

"You need to put that thing back before Euijin, or one of the older cousins find out." Jun reprimanded him.

Chan remained defiant, "Are you going to tell on me? Because then I'll tell them how you're the one that broke the blue bowl. I saw you sweeping it up."

"Fine." Jun gave in. He'd felt guilty ever since he broke the bowl and hadn't fessed up to it. "What are you going to do with that weird old thing anyway?"

Chan shrugged. "Will you take these to Hojung?" (Hojung's job was to count and organize all the supplies.)

Jun scowled as he took the lanterns and left.

Chan smuggled his find upstairs to the loft where he hid it, whatever it was, in his clean clothes.

Kijung, who was scared of lightning and thunder, had his face pressed against the window. "Do you really think Angels are bowling up there in Heaven?" At the recycling center, Daewon had found him a puppy pajama onesie with floppy ears and a tail. He wore the onesie over his regular clothes almost every day. Hansol had found a tiger pajama onesie to fit Chan, but he wouldn't wear it. He wasn't a baby like Kijoong.

"Who told you that?" Chan half laughed. At seven, he was too old to believe in those types of stories.

"Marco," Kijung answered.

Chan frowned, not sure what the right answer was. "Maybe." He looked at Daewon who was listening to their conversation but trying to pretend he wasn't.

Feeldog followed by Jun climbed up into the loft. Feeldog checked both windows they were completely closed and locked.

"I know how to do my job." Daewon sputtered.

"I check all the windows. You know that." Feeldog picked up a pillow and whacked Daewon with a loud thud.

Daewon, having grabbed his own pillow, hit back and began a rowdy pillow fight. They were laughing and making such a ruckus that Euijin popped his head in. Chan hit him with his pillow and cackled.

"Don't think you're going to get away with that! " Euijin covered his face with his arm and ran, half ducked like he was in an action movie, towards his own pillow.

Feeldog realized what he was after, right before he reached the pillow, and rolled to grab it first but was too slow. Euijin quickly grasped the pillow and swang. He hit Feeldog in the shoulder. There weren't any teams or rules, only anarchy as they attacked whoever was nearest. After a while, they all grew tired of the play.

Euijin sat close to the window where there was light and opened a picture book. Kijong cuddled up on one side, and Chan possessively took the other. Jun and Daewon wandered away to go see what the others were up too. Feeldog sat across from them, digging through his box for something.

Euijin began reading a story was about a boy called Aladdin who lived on the streets of a city and was a thief. In his head, Chan always imagined him looking like Marco. When they reached the part about the genie in the lamp, Chan's eyes grew large. The lamp in the book seemed like it could be a twin to the one he'd found. They were both made of metal and had a shape that reminded Chan of a teapot.

The story ended. Kijong slept with his head resting on Euijin's shoulder. Feeldog was sitting with his back to the shelf, listening. Feeldog rose and put a finger to his lips instructing Chan to be quiet.

Chan wondered what he should do. The light was fading and, while he wasn't afraid of the dark, he didn't want to be stuck in the loft with only a candle or two. It was a little spooky sometimes. The rain loudly pounded on the roof, and the wind howled as it surged against the house.

Euijin carefully laid Kijoong down on the mattress. Chan followed Euijin and Feeldog as they climbed down the ladder to the living area.

The rest of the older cousins sat in a circle playing a board game that involved marbles. He sat down next to Daewon and watched. He was bored. It was always more fun to play a game rather than be a spectator.

With the heat and the storm, the house was muggy. He could hear chopping noises coming from the kitchen and wondered what was for dinner. The older cousins only knew a few dishes. He hoped that it wasn't spicy fish stew; they'd eaten that the last two nights.

Kijong screamed and woke up crying loudly.

"Momma," he wasn't used to calling Euijin by that name and rarely used it, "I'll go check on him." He wanted to be treated like he was older, the same way Jun, who was less than a month younger than him, was.

Upstairs, the two candles Feeldog lit made the room smell nice but provided only enough light that Chan could make out a Kijoong size lump under the blankets.

Chan plopped down beside him and pulled the comforter back, revealing a cowering toddler. "Hey, did you have a bad dream?"

Kijong wiggled over and buried his head in Chan's lap. No knowing what to do, Chan patted his back and tried to make comforting noises. Marco found them like that.

"He's scared. I think he had a nightmare," Chan answered.

Marco tried to pick up a crying Kijong only to realize that he'd had an accident and wet the bed.

Chan's eyes grew huge. He hadn't wet the bed in a long time but, when he used to, his other mom had punished him. He felt little uneasy. The worst punishment he'd received from the cousins was standing in a corner for a time-out and watching the others play through a window. He'd been careful not to use cuss words when he was angry after that.

Unaware of what Chan was thinking, Marco asked over his shoulder as walked to the landing. "Chan, can you grab some clean clothes for him?"

"Okay," Chan answered quickly. Kijoong shared a shelf with Daewon. Chan picked out clean underwear, t-shirt, and shorts that, at one time, had been Chan's. (Kijong was tall for a toddler while Chan was short for his age.)

"Daewon can you help?" Marco shouted and slowly started to climb down one-handed.

Chan stared down at the clothes he held, still worrying what would happen to Kijoong. He suddenly remembered how grumpy Kijoong got when his puppy onsie needed to be washed and grabbed the tiger onesie from his own shelf.

Downstairs, Marco filled a pail with soap and warm water at the kitchen faucet.

"That's going to be a pain to lug up the ladder," Feeldog said to him. "Only fill it half-way."

"You have Kijoong's clothes?" Feeldog asked, and Chan nodded in reply. "I'll take them. Why don't you find Jun and play?."

Chan only took a few slow steps. He watched Feeldog over his shoulder.

The cousins' leader knocked on the bathroom door and said something in a voice that was only a little louder than a whisper to someone inside. They opened up, and Chan could see that Kijoong held on tight to Daewon's arm as they washed him. Kijoong wasn't crying, but he wasn't smiling either but he didn't appear to be scared at all. Kijoong never liked bathing and often ended up getting in trouble for hiding when it was his turn. Chan figured he was okay.

Hojung yelled, "look out below," and all the dirty bedding was thrown down from the loft and made hardly any noise when it landed in a sloppy pile.

Later, after a supper of kimchi stew, Kijoong sat on Daewon's lap while they played charades by lamp and candlelight. Everyone joked around and had fun, but it still felt like something was off. Chan kept glancing over at Kijoong, making sure that he was okay. The worry that had planted itself in the pit of his stomach refused to leave. He'd never seen someone that afraid before. He was glad that the storm had blown itself out. When it was time for Jun's bath, Chan tugged Kijoong's hand. "Come on. I have something I want to show you."

At first, Kijang resisted, but then he gave in and climbed down. Chan led him up into the loft. "Look what I found!" He uncovered the lamp. "I think it's a genie lamp." Chan didn't actually believe that, but he thought Kijoon would have fun pretending.

"A genie?" Kijoong asked.

Chan offered it to him, "Here you hold it but be very careful not to rub it."

"Okay." Kijoong nodded.

Chan ran over to where Euijin was reading early and found the book. He ignored the bare mattress. He pulled Kijoong over near to a candle. He opened the book to the illustration where Aladdin rubbed the lamp, and a genie popped out. "Look,"

Kijoong's eyes grew wide, and his mouth formed a perfect little "oh." His fingers tightened around the lamp. He instinctively pulled it close to his chest.

"Maybe we should make a wish," Chan said. "But we have to think of what to wish for. The genie only gives you three." Chan plopped down at the end of a different mattress. Kijoong mimicked him.

They sat quietly thinking and watching the little flame in the candle.

"Any ideas what you'd want to wish for?" Chan finally asked Kijoong.

"Ice cream," Kijoong said.

Last market day, Feeldog had bought two small cartons of ice cream, one chocolate, and one strawberry, and the cousins had shared them. Kijoong had been so funny, dancing up and down because of the cold but asking for another bite soon after the last.

Chan himself had only one real wish, it was a secret wish that he knew would never ever come true, and that was for Feeldog and Euijin to be his real parents. Chan nodded, "Ice cream is a good wish."

They carefully rubbed the lamp three times and then said together, "Genie of the Lamp, please grant our wish for ice cream." Right when they finished, lightning crackled and lit up the sky. They both jumped.

"The genie," Chan continued to play pretend, "might take awhile to make the wish come true."

"But I didn't see any genie," Kijoon said.

Chan quickly improvised, "The lightning was the genie answering."

"Chan? Are you up there?" Feeldog called up. "It's time for your shower."

Chan scrambled and hid the lamp. He put his finger over his lip.

"I'm here." He said. He randomly grabbed pajamas and underwear. "Listen, Kijoong, we can't tell anyone else about the lamp because it's our secret."

"Why?" Kijoong asked.

The real reason was that Chan didn't want to get in trouble for digging through the forbidden trunk. "If we tell people what we wished for, it won't come true." He lied.

"Chan!"

"I'm coming." He turned to Kijoong, "do you want to stay up here or come downstairs?"

As they were climbing down, something occurred to Chan. "Why aren't you wearing the tiger onesie?"

"Channie is the tiger," Kijoong said with conviction.

"I lent it to you so you could be the tiger tonight."

"I am a puppy. A cute puppy."

At bedtime, Euijin tucked Chan in.

"Go to sleep," Euijin ordered, "The rain has stopped, and Marco wants us to help him gather wood tomorrow."

Genuinely curious, Chan wondered, "Why do we need wood?"

"It's a surprise."

"But where are you going to sleep?" The bare mattress at the end bothered Chan. He knew that Euijin and Feeldog couldn't sleep there.

"Downstairs. But only for tonight."

"The floor is hard."

"We have sleeping bags."

"Oh." Chan pouted.

"Sweet dreams," Euijin wished Chan before he left.

Chan picked up his pink pig and stared at its cute face. "Being a kid is hard." He whispered to it before rolling over onto his side.

Chan dozed a bit but, first the wind and then the call of a night bird, woke him. Something just felt wrong, and he couldn't stop worrying about the feeling. The candles had burned themselves out leaving the loft in near total darkness. He grabbed his favorite blanket, pink pig, and very quietly crawled towards the ladder. He stuck his head out the opening and could see a puddle of light. Down below, if he listened very hard, he could hear music playing.

Chan, holding his blanket and pig close, climbed down the ladder.

Feeldog spotted him, "Having a hard time sleeping?"

Chan nodded, half expecting to be sent back up the ladder.

Feeldog and Euijin had unzipped the sleeping bags, so they lay flat. They had lightweight blankets as cover. Quiet music played on a battery-operated radio.

Feeldog patted the spot next to him. "Come lay down. But quiet."

Chan ran and picked the spot right between the two. Climbing under the blanket, he wiggled around to get comfortable and woke Euijin.

"What?" Euijin mumbled.

Feeldog answered him, "It's just Chan. Go back to sleep."

When Feeldog felt that Euijin was back asleep, he whispered to Chan, "What's bothering you?"

"What do you think Kijoong saw in his dream that scared him so badly?" Chan whispered back.

"Sometimes toddlers just have bad dreams like that." Feeldog rolled over to his side and pillowed his head on his folded arms. "It's upsetting seeing him that scared isn't it?"

Chan nodded and yawned. "Tell me the story of how you and Euijin met. How you two became friends." It was so nice with just the three of them, he thought to himself. He smiled feeling like a tiny bit of his secret wish had been granted.

Feeldog began telling the story of watching Euijin dancing in a park, but, before he reached the part when he went up and talked to the older teen, Chan was asleep. He very slowly climbed out from underneath the blankets. He turned off all but one small lamp and the radio.

As Feeldog was halfway under a blanket, a drowsy Euijin whispered, "You were trying to act tough and were smoking a cigarette the first time I met you."

"Go to sleep," Feeldog ordered, and Euijin did.

Chan woke the next morning to birdsong and clear skies.


	5. Lamps and Wishes part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank Neiya for all her hard work editing this chapter.

The bus traveling to the city market was packed with people. Worst of all, the bus was hot and smelled terrible. Jun, Hansol, and Marco were lucky and found three seats together at the very back. Chan ended up sitting on a seat that was directly behind Kijoong and Daewon. Hojung sat across the aisle. Feeldog and Chan were both so far behind him that he couldn’t see them unless he hung halfway out of his seat and twisted in an uncomfortable position. 

  
Chan pouted. He was sure that the three at the back were having a great time. They all knew how to make long bus trips fun. Kijoong, half kneeling, tried turning around to talk to him but Daewon scolded him until he stopped. Chan chatted with Hojung who had borrowed one of Hansol’s mangas and tried to read with him.

  
Three stops away from their destination, a pregnant woman boarded. She carried a large satchel with her as well as a purse. The only available seat for her was by the window towards the back. Daewon stood and insisted on giving his seat to her. Thankful, she promised to watch Kijoong.

  
Chan wondered where Daewon thought Kijoong could go on a crowded bus and shook his head when Kijoong introduced himself as Daewon’s baby. 

  
Daewon quickly added, “Brother. He’s my baby brother.”

  
Kijoong made a face but didn’t argue. Kijoong asked the woman a number of questions like “when will your baby pop out?”, and “do you think you’ll love it?”, before telling her about how their bunny had babies. He turned around and excitedly half screamed, “Channie, this lady is going to have a baby!” He turned back to the woman, “Chan’s my cousin. He’s older than me.” 

  
When the bus stopped, the lady slowly stood up and slipped the handle of the satchel over her shoulder. “You be good to your brother and cousin,” she warmly told Kijoong before digging through her bag until she found a tiny stuffed dog that hung from a keychain. “My friend gave this to me, but I think you should have it.”   


Kijoong wanted the keychain but hesitated before reaching out his hand to take the toy. The woman reached down and placed the keychain in his hand and wrapped his fingers around it. Kijoong smiled and politely thanked the woman.    


Daewon was stuck at the back and Chan couldn’t reach their backpacks on the overhead rack. An older man who had the window seat pulled down all three packs for them. Chan helped Kijoong put on his book bag before putting his own on, and then slid Daewon’s straps over one of his shoulders. Holding hands, the two kids exited the bus and waited for Daewon by a cosmetic store that had a big tv in the window. Entranced, they watched the same perfume commercial featuring a ballerina three times in a row. Kijoong put his hands over his head and did a lopsided spin, trying to imitate her.

  
Daewon finally got out of the bus and held hands with each boy. Chan turned to check and see if the pregnant woman was watching. Even though she was on the phone, she smiled at him before she turning away.

  
The market was overcrowded. Daewon tightly squeezed their hands as he nodded to friendly vendors. When they emerged on the other side, a folk trio was busking at their usual space. They’d attracted a smattering of passers-by, but the fountain square itself was filled with people. Daewon didn’t mind the trio, but then Daewon had sleepy old people’s taste in music, or at least that’s what Jun said. Jun liked loud music that was easy to dance to.   


They managed to find a bench to wait for the others. Kijoong played with his little stuffed dog.    


It wasn’t even noon yet but the sun was already intense and bright. Chan sweated in his yellow polo and navy pants. If he was at home, he could run around shirtless in shorts and play in the stream where Marco fished. The water was cold but felt so good. Now, he was hot, bored, and impatient.   


Chan looked at the fountain with its base full of water in longing. He could imagine how much fun it would be to stomp and splash in it.  He didn't though; it was against the rules.   


The others joined them and decided to change locations. They moved to a beautiful plaza with high-end shops lining its sides. The crowd was younger and dressed nicer. Chan, even at seven, could tell these things. They set up in front of a metal sculpture that stood in the center of the square in the center. The heat made dancing hard, but the crowd that quickly formed around them made up for it.     


At around one, a band showed up and said that they had signed up to busk there in advance. The cousins started packing up.    


Kijoong hopped around with his legs close together, “momma,” he said to Euijin forgetting he was only supposed to call him that at home, “I need to go to the bathroom.”   
Euijin looked around at the fancy boutiques and grimaced.   
“I’ll take him.” Daewon offered.   
“What about you, Chan?”   
Chan shook his head no, but Jun piped in that he needed to go. Not wanting to be left out again, Chan followed the little group of Kijoong, Daewon, Hansol, and Jun into a small cafe that smelled good. His mouth watered. The display cases held pretty cakes and cookies. The white tile floors were so clean that they reflected the light and the two tables had blue vases with a flower in them.   
Daewon with Kijoong holding his hand, headed straight towards the bathroom.   
One of the two employees stopped them. “The bathroom is only for paying customers.”   
“It’s an emergency, and he’s just a little kid.” Daewon pleaded.   
“What about the rest?” The employee gestured back to the small cluster behind Daewon with his head.   
“They all need to go, but they can hold it. My little brother can’t.”  
“Let them use the bathroom. The boss won’t be in for an hour anyway.” The other employee, an older woman, told him. “I’ve watched them dancing out the window. They’re pretty good.”  
Jun, making sure he didn’t touch anything, eyes fixed on the pastries and cakes. “Did you make all of these?” He asked the woman in the white coat and black bandana.   
“Most of them.” She answered.  
Kijoong and Daewon came out. Jun went in. Hansol joked with Daewon who kept a tight grip on Kijoong’s hand. Jun came out, and Chan went in.   


An older woman who had sparkling rings on her fingers entered the store. She glanced at the cousins and wrinkled her nose like they smelled terrible. Daewon and Hansol looked at each other and silently agreed. Daewon ushered Jun and Kijoong out of the store. A while later, the lady, holding a cake box and a bag, exited.   
“This is not a place to loiter.” She sneered. “Do your parents even know you’re here?” She left without waiting for them to answer.  


Chan and Hansol came through the door. Chan’s eyes grew wide. He reached down and picked up a yellow, 50,000 won bill.  
“We should give it back to that lady,” Daewon said, but he didn’t look happy. “It’s too crowded. I didn’t see which way she went.”     
Hansol shrugged. “Maybe this money is supposed to be our money.”  
“She seemed like a mean lady. She called us names when she was talking to the bakers.” Chan complained.   
“Rich people don’t like poor people. They only like money.” Hansol added.  
Chan handed it to Hansol who, unlike the rest of their small group, had a wallet.   
Reunited with the rest of the cousins, they gave Feeldog the money.   
He smiled, “We’re raking the money in today!”  


They bought tteokbokki at a stall run by a kindhearted grandmother who always gave them a little extra. Afterward, Feeldog surprised the cousins by announcing that everyone could pick out an ice-cream for dessert. Jun knew right away what he wanted. Chan and Kijoong stood looking down into the freezer overwhelmed by all the choices. The store owner barked at them for keeping the lid open so long. Chan chose chocolate and Kijoon chose vanilla. Feeldog paid, and they ate their ice cream waiting for the folk trio to wrap up so that they could have their usual space.  

 

“Chan,” Kijoong turned and smiled at him. “We had ice cream.” he lowered his voice. “Our wish came true.” 

 

In the day and a half, since they’d made it, Chan had forgotten about the wish and the genie lamp. “It did. We even got to pick out our own.” He whispered. 

 

“The genie is real,” Kijoong whispered back. 

 

They busked and earned another full-day's worth of money. At the recycling center, they found two missing volumes of a manga series that Hansol was collecting and the first three volumes of another set. Chan couldn’t believe all the luck they’ve been getting. He was even able to sit in the back with Jun and Hansol on the way home.  

 

That night, as they prepared for bed, Kijoong kept smiling over at Chan, his whole face lit up with joy.


	6. Bad Seeds Grow Beautiful Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco and Hansol leave the rest of the cousins at home and have their own adventure.

The morning after the city market, Marco woke up earlier than the others. He quietly picked out clothes and, trying to make as little noise as possible, he climbed down the ladder, dressed and left his dirty clothes folded neatly on the washing machine. When he was brushing his teeth, Hansol showed up. 

“I need to pee.” The younger boy declared. 

Marco wanted to tell him to go pee outside into the bushes but knew Hansol would complain.“I’m almost done.” 

Hansol tipped his chin upwards and flashed him an aggravated look. 

Marco finished brushing as fast as he could. “The bathroom is now yours.” He left, closing the door behind him. In the living room, he dug out his backpack from where he stashed it behind the sofa. Carefully, he wrote a note to Euijin and Feeldog explaining his need to go visit a friend of his dad’s. He was sitting on the porch putting his shoes on when Hansol came out and watched him for a second before asking.

“I read your note. Are you really coming back?” Hansol pouted. “Why are you sneaking off?”

“I’ve just got business to take care of,” Marco stated while he finished tying his shoelaces.

Hansol reached down and grabbed Marco’s pack. “I’ll come with you. Wait here.” 

“Look, this isn’t a good idea. What if I get caught? You don’t want to get caught with me.” Marco insisted.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t go,” Hansol replied in a reasonable tone of voice. “Let me come, or I’ll yell loud enough to wake everyone up.”

Marco thought about it, his lips pursed together in a frown and finally agreed. “Okay. But you have to do what I tell you to do.” 

Hansol agreed but with a loophole, “As long as what you say makes sense.”

 

Ten minutes later, they were on their way. Kneehigh weeds grew in the tire tracks leading to the house and, in the pale gray light of early dawn, the dark woods were spooky. Marco’s foot hit a pothole, and he almost stumbled, but Hansol caught him. After that, they held hands.

They made it to the main road and walked along the shoulder to where the bus stopped. The morning was damp with a cold breeze. They huddled together, hungry since they left before breakfast, and watched the occasional cars passing them by. They didn’t get on the first bus which was headed in the wrong direction; they waited for the second. Bored Marco played in the drainage ditch and tried to catch a frog. When he finally caught one, he dumped it into Hansol’s lap and laughed at his shocked expression.

“Where did you get money for the bus ticket?” Hansol asked out of the blue.

“I found it,” Marco answered, untruthfully. 

Hansol didn’t believe him. 

The bus, when it finally arrived, was half full but it was easy to find two seats together towards the back. 

“There are more people than I expected.” Marco confided to Hansol.

“I heard that they made school buses yellow so you could see them at a distance.” Hansol used a random fact as a conversation starter. “So, I wonder why they chose blue for this bus.”

Marco tried to think of either an answer or a way of turning the blue bus into a joke, but his mind remained blank, so he went with the obvious, “I guess so it doesn’t get mistaken for a school bus.”

Hansol nodded as he pondered this. 

Marco turned his face to Hansol’s, “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own?” He let Hansol think on that for a while before delivering the punchline, “Because it’s two tired.” 

Hansol couldn’t help but laugh. Marco smiled back at him. 

They goofed around after that playing a game where whoever lost at rock paper scissors got to flick the other person wherever they wanted. They were both equally as bad, and it was almost like they took turns losing. Marco had a bright red mark on his forehead and Hansol had one on his wrist. The game grew boring, and they chatted a bit before Hansol started to doze.

Marco looked at the sleeping boy and wondered if they would still be friends when he found out all about his past. Feeldog and Euijin knew most of it but not all. They knew things like his father was in jail and that his mother had abandoned them before Marco started walking. They didn’t know his dad was a thief, that hadn’t been in any of the papers when his dad was arrested.

His father had two things he hated in life: the government and “the elites.” The elites corrupted the government making it impossible for poor people to ever make a better life for themselves. From the time he was a baby, Marco had overheard his father complaining to his friends about this. His father fought back by being an excellent thief. He’d never been caught, and he had raised Marco “in the family business.” If they were short on money, his father stole food from large corporate grocery stores, never small family owned businesses. He’d wiggle his fingers and say, “five-finger discount,” when they were back in the car. He would disapprove if he knew some of the things Marco had been up too. “This is class war,” his father would tell him. 

Besides shoplifting, his father taught him other survival skills: how to fish, clean his catch, how to kill and butcher a chicken, how to recognize wild edible plants, and how to cook simple food like ramen. Every time his father would leave for a job, Marco would end up staying over at a lady friend’s house. When he came back, he’d take Macro to live for a few months in the mountains, away from civilization. 

Marco had bounced around between schools and his father never cared if he attended or not. He believed schools brainwashed people into being sheep for corporate masters. Marco knew how to read and do simple math, but he wasn’t close to being where he should be when it came to most subjects. Being last place in his class, made him an easy target for bullies. When he’d come home with a black eye, his father had taught him how to fight back. “If you can’t win with a fair fight, fight dirty,” he’d tell his son. “Don’t let this world make you into a victim.”

Marco actually hated fighting, and he wasn’t sure that stealing was right either but it was better than going to bed hungry. 

 

The bus pulled into the station of the medium size town where they performed during the week and had the food pantry. The day he’d gone to the pantry with the others, he’d recognized the place from when he’d visited with his father years earlier. The church was their meet-up spot if they ended up separated.

The bus door opened. Marco shook Hansol awake. They grabbed their backpacks and exited the vehicle.

The two boys left the bus station and, while most of the other passengers headed west, they headed south towards the church. 

Hansol spoke up, “You haven’t told me anything about what we’re actually doing here,”

“We’re here to get paid,” Marco replied knowing his answer wouldn’t make any sense to his friend. 

Hansol had a gentle tone of voice, perfect posture, was good looking, and had been wearing nice clothes when they first met. The watch he’d had on then was worth more than everything Euijin and Marco wore together. (Marco had convinced Hansol to put the watch away somewhere safe and never wear it out in public.) He came off as cold though and didn’t talk much in the beginning. He was the type of kid that Marco usually would’ve avoided assuming they had nothing in common. They’d become family and, if Hansol weren’t around, there’d be a huge hole left unfilled.

Even now, after living wild with the cousins for the last few months, there was still something different about Hansol compared to most people. He asked interesting questions and had a way of turning what other people said back on them in a funny way. But he could be very disapproving when it came to some of the things Marco did. He never said anything out loud, but his face revealed what he was thinking. 

Marco’s had a feeling that his own father wouldn’t approve of their friendship due to Hansol being an elite.

They walked past the church, a school, and another whole block before turning down a narrow side street that was almost an alley. Marco stopped and told Hansol to wait in the shadow of a streetlight and a large, unkempt bush, “Stay here and yell loudly if you see the police coming.”   

“Why?” Hansol’s eyes narrowed in a way that said he didn’t trust what Marco was up to.

“The man running that shop,” Marco pointed to a small hardware store that advertised being a locksmith, “is friends with my dad and owes him some money.”

Hansol didn’t know much about Marco’s past, the cousins never asked questions about that kind of thing, “are you sure it’s okay?”

“No. That’s why you wait here as a lookout.” Marco ordered.

Marco gave him a quick hug and turned to cross the street. The next minute he had disappeared into the dark interior of the store. Hansol bit his lip, unsure that this was a good idea. 

Inside the store, a woman was working the register and a man was helping someone pick out the type of screws they needed for a project. The man looked up, saw Marco when he entered, froze momentarily, and then went back to the sale. 

Marco looked around at cabinet pulls, all sorts of plumbing supplies, and the other odd things a hardware store carried till finally, the man had finished his sale. The customer carried his screws to the register. 

Marco walked over and asked the man if he had time to talk.

 

Hansol waited, but an old woman came out of a tall apartment building and started sweeping the stoop. She spent the whole time glaring at Hansol. He shifted uneasily, not knowing if he should follow Marco’s orders or if he should go find his friend. The man left the store and Marco followed close behind. Hansol decided he’d had enough of waiting. He crossed the street and tagged along. 

“I told you to wait as a lookout,” Marco whispered harshly. 

Hansol didn’t say anything. He just kept walking. 

“Who is this?” The man asked.

“No one who knows anything,” Marco replied. 

The man didn’t seem happy, but he kept on walking till he reached a bank with an outside ATM. 

“You don’t want to end up like your dad,” the man said, and he punched in numbers on the keypad. 

“I’m trying hard to live an honest life,” Marco answered, “but I have my own family to look after now.” 

The man snorted, “your own family. You’re just a kid. Listen, Hyunggeun, you won’t know what it’s like till you have a sick mother, a wife, and two kids.” The machine started to spit out money. “Here. This is all I can afford to give you.”

Marco took the money and counted. “This is only three hundred thousand won. My dad gave you a lot more than this.” 

“That money can buy a lot of candy.” The man sneered. “Did he tell you what his dad was in jail for?” He asked Hansol. “Murder. He killed one of the guys he pulled a job with. Slashed him up pretty good with a knife. I don’t know what you two are up too but, if I were you, I wouldn’t trust this kid. Hyunggeun is a bad seed just like his old man.” 

“You grew up together. My dad would be disappointed in you. He gave you all the money he had when you wanted out after your girlfriend got pregnant.” Marco reminded him. 

“Every year, he was a little more paranoid and had more cracked brain theories about the government. He wasn’t the same as when we were kids. But he was loyal and never gave anyone up. That’s why you’re getting what money I can afford to give you.” 

 

Marco grabbed Hansol’s hand and pulled him away. As they walked, Marco slid one strap off his shoulder and slung his backpack around to his front. He unzipped it, pulled out a pencil box, opened it, put the money inside, and shut it. He then went through everything in reverse: placing the box back into his bag, zipping it closed, slung his backpack again, and put his arm back through the strap.

When they reached the school, Hansol left him to go swing. Marco followed behind, scared to look at the younger boy. They swang in silence for a few minutes. Neither sure what to say to the other. 

“It’s not like he said,” Marco began. “My dad’s not crazy. It was self-defense. They were drinking after a job, and the man who died didn’t want to give my dad his full cut. They started to argue and, when the other man came at him with a knife, my dad defended himself. My dad never ever lied to me. He wouldn’t have lied about what happened.”

Marco remembered his dad showing up at his current girlfriend’s house in the middle of the night and calling for Marco. 

“Grab your stuff. We have to go.” His dad ordered. 

They were in the car driving towards the mountains when they were pulled over. The lights were too bright, and the cop’s face was scary as he shined a flashlight into the car. They ended up separated: his dad in one car and him in another. At the station, they made Marco wait alone for “a nice lady from social services”+ who was tired and frazzled when she finally showed up. Not sure what to do with Marco, she placed him in the same foster home as Euijin.  

In the home and at his new school, he was bullied far worse than he had ever been before. No one wanted to be friends with a kid who was the son of a murderer. The news painted his dad as a crazy anarchist who had ties to organized crime. Everyone except Euijin, and later Feeldog, believed everything the news said. Marco was sure that Hansol would be the same way. 

Big fat tears trickled down his cheeks and dripped down from his chin. He stopped swinging and hid his face in his hands.

“How did you get that man to give you so much money?” Hansol asked very quietly.

“He owed my dad that money.” Marco started but then added, “I told him that I would tell the police that he used to be a thief too.”

Next too him, Hansol quit swinging. “My dad is a jerk. He wants me to be like my brother who is into taekwondo. I wanted to be a dancer, but my dad said that was for girls. Every day it was train, train, train. My parents expected us to be good at everything. I had to win all my matches and was still expected to get good grades. When my brother had to diet to meet his weight class, then they made my sister, and I eat the same things he did. They expected me to be grateful all the time for being born into such a good family. To have all that money and nice things, my parents worked all the time. And they were always worried we’d embarrass them. When the kids at school bullied me, my dad said that I needed to toughen up. He said I was too sensitive and that’s why they picked on me.” At eleven, one year younger than Marco, Hansol struggled with the right words. “He never believed me even when I told him the truth. Everything was my fault.”

Marco realized that Hansol was crying too. He stood up and hugged the younger boy, holding his head close to his chest. “It’s not your fault. Kids are mean. I love your dancing, and you’re good at it.” Marco smoothed Hansol’s hair. “Come on, let’s go get something good to eat for lunch. We have money so you can pick anything you want.” 

“How about beef?’ Hansol asked. 

Maco whipped away the remaining tears and snot with his sleeve.“You’re just asking for that because I like it. Choose something you want.” Marco offered again. “Think about it.”

 

Close to the bus station, they saw a sign for a fair. Marco asked someone for directions. They paid the small entry fee, ate fair food, and mingled with the crowd. They didn’t even have to worry about standing out. Kids around their age roamed together in packs. They watched part of a singing contest and argued a bit on who they thought was the better singer. The looked at the rides with longing but decided the tickets were too expensive. Hansol was all smiles and laughed a lot. A warm feeling spread through Marco’s chest.

It was almost dinner time when the bus dropped them off at their stop. 

“I feel guilty about being the only ones to enjoy the fair,” Hansol admitted. 

“Me too.” Marco agreed. “Let’s earn enough money that next time we can all go together.”

They held the plastic grocery bags tightly in their hands. 

Feeldog took their bags, gave them to Hojung to put the food away, then lectured them in front of all the other kids. Euijin sat on the steps. His mouth an angry line and shook his head a few times when Marco talked back. 

 

Later, Euijin pulled Marco to the side and asked again where he’d gone. Marco confessed everything and handed over a wad of bills. 

“You and Feeldog are always worrying about what will happen if we get sick or if the weather is bad and we don’t make money. I wanted us to have some money stashed away for emergencies.” Marco explained. 

“Don’t take chances with yourself. You’re an important member of our family. We count on you and Hansol both.” Euijin told him when he was done being angry. “What’s with all the food?”

“It’s for the surprise.” 

 

That night Marco wadded up newspaper pages into balls and used little sticks for kindling as he started a fire. He added a few larger branches, and the flames of the bonfire roared to life. They roasted sweet potatoes wrapped in tin foil in the hot coals and stuck sausages on sticks that they cooked over the flames. They even had cookies that Hansol had picked out and roasted marshmallows for dessert.

The moon was full and offered its own light over the meadow. There was hardly any breeze. Music played on the battery operated radio. 

No one told them to take showers or to go to bed at a specific time. Kijong begged for Chan to put on his tiger pajamas. They sat next to each other: one tiger and one puppy.

Hansol asked Jun if he was jealous.

Jun replied, “kind of.”

“If you had pajamas like that, what would you want?” 

“Maybe a bear or a dragon,” Jun answered. “I don’t know. Something cool.” He changed the topic. “I was worried that you really left us. You’ve never gone somewhere with just Marco before.”

“We had grown up family business to take care of.”

“You’re not a grown up. You still sleep with a teddy bear.” Jun teased and then became serious. “You can’t ever leave. We have to stick together.”

“Why would I leave?” Hansol asked. “This is where I belong, even if you forget to brush your teeth and hair.”   

“That’s not me. That’s Kijoong.” Jun indignantly declared.

 

The little kids, sticky and full, fell asleep on the porch.  

The flames danced high until finally the four oldest were the only ones that were left watching the bonfire die down.

“I wish we never had to leave here. The world outside is scary.” Marco admitted. “Friends grow up and forget they ever knew each other.” 

“Not us though,” declared Feeldog, “we’re stuck with each other.” He reached out and lightly pushed Euijin, shoulder to shoulder, “Isn’t that right?” 

Euijin pushed him back the same way, just a little bit harder,

Daewon suddenly hugged Marco so tightly that they both fell over. 

“What are you doing?!” Marco demanded as he pushed a laughing Daewon off of him. 

“You sounded sad. I was cheering you up,” Daewon answered. 

“Oh yeah?” Marco reversed tackled Daewon, pinning him down and forcing his head into his armpit. 

“Stop, stop,” Daewon laughed, pushing at Marco’s chest. “Take a shower.”

Feeldog smiled, “Hey, watch out for the fire.”

The warm feeling that had blossomed in Marco’s chest at the fair continued to grow a little bit more every day until he finally recognized it as love. All the secrets he’d held became less and less important until he forgot about them entirely. 


	7. Mixed Bag of Blessings part 1

The summer days stretched so long now that sunset happened after showers and bedtime. At first, the older cousins tried to be strict about following the old schedule, but soon they gave up. They all ended up staying up later and sleeping in during the morning. 

The family sat on the porch most evenings and watched the swallows swooping after insects. The birds’ silhouettes were dark against the twilight sky. Daewon and Marco found where they were building their nests under the eaves of the old shed. Every day the cousins would check on it from a respectful distance.   
Hojung found a book on native bird species and identifying wild edible plants in the owner’s bookshelf. They shared an old pair of binoculars. Hojung called bird watching “science class.” When they saw a bird that they didn’t know, they’d flip through the book and try to identify it.   
Feeldog found the money to get them each a journal so they could draw the birds they’d identified. Soon, they could tell the difference between swallows and martins, sparrows and wrens, as well as other species. The journal expanded from birds to plants, and types of clouds. Hojung would lay a blanket out, and they would lay down looking up, studying the clouds, or silently observing the world around them. This peace never lasted. It wasn’t in their nature to be quiet or still for long.  
Except for Hojung, he enjoyed cloud watching.

The problem was that the older kids could not help the younger ones identify insects. Jun or Chan would catch a bug and run to a cousin, Marco usually, to find out what it was but he couldn’t tell him.   
“They’re learning a lot,” Hojung said happily one day at dinner.   
“We need more books though.” Daewon sighed, “Books on insects and trees; the things we don’t know or already have books on.”  
Hansol offered his opinion, “This doesn’t feel like school. There aren’t any tests. What if they fall behind?” Not being successful in school was something his mother used to worry about all the time.   
Marco surprised everyone by asking, “But what about other things like history?”  
“We need more books.” Euijin and Feeldog said in unison.   
On his own, Feeldog offered, “There’s a used bookstore close to the city market. It’s filled with more books than you can count. You can’t even see through the windows because the books block them. I bet that store has books on insects.”  
“Who wants to go with Feeldog to the bookstore?” Euijin asked.   
“Wait. Why am I going?” Feeldog wondered aloud.  
“Because you know where the store is.” Euijin replied and tried again, “who wants to go find books?”  
Nearly everyone raised their hands, except for Marco.   
“Marco, you have to come. You know more about nature than the rest of us.” Feeldog ordered.   
Daewon volunteered, “I’ll take Kijoong to the playground then.”   
Chan perked up. “I want to go to the playground.”   
Everything settled, they finished eating. 

City market day, they performed in the morning, then when the heat was the most intense, Daewon took the two youngest to play while the rest followed Feeldog to a dark, narrow street lined with all kinds of interesting shops. There was a shop that sold dishes and everything you’d need for cooking. There was a florist with a window full of plants and pretty glass vases. Next was a stationery store. The one after that was the bookstore.   
A small metal shelf on wheels stood out-front. Its shelves were filled with yellow-paged books that had lost their dust covers. Full bookshelves indeed half covered the windows. Inside, a wizened, mostly bald, elderly gentleman sat in a comfortable chair behind a wood desk reading a newspaper. An old metal fan sat on the desk blowing air in his direction. He grunted a hello as a greeting and continued reading.   
The store wasn’t wide, but it was deep. Books lined the walls from the floor to the high ceiling. The cases were stacked to overflowing. Books shelved with their spines out had books laying on their sides squeezed in on top of them. The place smelled musty with a hint of mildew. Even the dirty windows seemed yellowed and old. Most of the light came from overhead fluorescents that buzzed slightly.   
“How are we ever going to find anything?” Hojung whispered.   
“I’ve never seen so many books,” Hansol whispered back.   
It took them awhile to realize that the shelves were labeled with subjects. History was a large section, but there wasn’t one marked insects or trees.   
“I don’t have comic books.” The man barked as they approached him. Without looking at them, he turned the page on his paper.   
Feeldog pushed Marco forward. He looked over his shoulder at the older boy, and then he swallowed as he faced the elderly man, “Um, we’re looking for books that help you identify bugs or teach you about them. And trees.”   
“Field guides?” The old man gently closed and folded his paper. He set it in his chair as he stood. Very slowly, his back was slightly hunched, he walked to the shelves and pointed upwards. “See that shelf there? You should find the books you want.” He then looked over at the rest of the group, “Anything else?”  
“History books. Some for our age,” Feeldog pointed to himself and Hojung, “and some for a kid.” He put his hands on Jun’s shoulders.   
The man shook his head and muttered something about weird kids. He pulled a thick heavy textbook off of one shelf and then he walked to the fiction section. “You see this series of books? They’re historical novels. You’ll learn a lot about kings, generals, and politics.” There were ten volumes in the series.   
“Let’s get those novels,” Hansol whispered loudly.   
“Excuse me, sir,” Euijin asked. “Do you have a restroom I can use.”  
“No, you have to go use the one at the convenience store. Down that way.” The old man vaguely pointed.   
“Thank you.” Euijin politely shook the man’s hand. “I’ll be quick.” He promised before he rushed out.  
In the end, they found a whole pile of books. “All of these,” Feeldog said as they set the books down on the desk, “except the textbook.”   
The old man took out his calculator and opened each book to see the price written inside. He slowly wrote it down on a receipt pad and, when he’d finished that task, added it all up on the calculator. “You sure are some weird kids,” he mumbled as he did so. He told Feeldog the price, and Feeldog reluctantly paid. “Just a minute.” The man slowly walked to a different shelf and grabbed a book.   
Feeldog looked down and saw the newspaper’s headline story. A coastal city had flooded. They’d been hit with a severe storm and the pumps that prevented flooding malfunctioned. Several neighborhoods had severe damage. The government was investigating why the pumps didn’t turn on.  
The old man gave Marco a thick, paperback dictionary. “Now, take this, and, if you don’t know a word, look it up.”   
They distributed the books throughout different backpacks so that no one person’s pack was too heavy to wear comfortably. 

Outside in the street, Feeldog saw that Euijin was chatting with a group of dancers that he admired. He was all smiles and laughed at something one of them said. When he saw Feeldog, he raised his hand in greeting before saying something to the dancers. Feeldog was sure one of them said, “call me.” Euijin laughed again and then ran towards the cousins.   
“Sorry, it took me so long.” He said not bothering to explain anything else. ”Let’s go meet up with Daewon and eat some lunch.”

They ate ramen with spicy tuna and fried eggs for dinner. Jun described the bookstore to Chan and Kijoong, exaggerating a little in his excitement. It seemed as noisy as usual. It wasn’t until later when everyone was slowly heading off to bed that Euijin noticed something was wrong with Feeldog. When he’d talk to Euijin, he’d avoided looking directly into his eyes by looking down or a little to the side. His voice was soft and had a monotone quality to it. He didn’t even shake his head and sigh when Euijin made lame jokes; he just ignored them.   
By the next morning, Euijin came to the conclusion that Feeldog was brooding. By nature, he wasn’t as talkative as some of the others, but he made up that by being one of the loudest when he goofed around. He was almost always up for fun whether it be soccer or visiting the stream or some other adventure. That day, he turned down all invitations, packed his backpack with art supplies, and went off by himself to sketch. Euijin watched but didn’t say anything. Everyone needed time alone now and then.   
Feeldog came back before dinner but remained quiet. Euijin chewed his food wondering if he should try to get Feeldog to talk to him or not when he noticed that Daewon was also watching the cousins’ leader.   
Euijin asked Daewon what he thought was wrong with Feeldog.   
The other boy frowned, “we all have bad days.”  
“True,” Euijin agreed.   
“Can I talk to you about something?” Daewon usually went to Feeldog with his problems.  
“What’s wrong?” Euijin asked.  
“I told the kids I wouldn’t tell, but I’m worried,” Daewon began.

All of the older cousins had been assigned a book to read and learn so that they could help teach that subject to the younger ones. Euijin ended up being about astronomy and included myths about all the constellations. Astronomy as a subject hadn’t been on the original book list but, he supposed, it made sense as an addition.   
The night was beautiful but dark. The moon was a tiny little sliver, a few days from new, and clouds covered even that small bit. The only light came from inside the house, but it was more than enough to illuminate the porch. Where Euijin sat was mostly cloaked in shadow, there was no way he was going to be able to spot any of the constellations pictured in the book, but it was cooler outside than in.   
Feeldog came out and sat on the edge of the porch with his legs dangling over.   
“Everything okay?” Euijin asked him.  
Startled, he flinched but then regained his stoic demeanor. “Sure.”   
“You look like you’ve been thinking hard about something.” Euijin began.   
Feeldog shrugged.  
“You feel like talking?” Euijin tried a different approach.   
“You do enough talking for both of us,” Feeldog answered.  
“What?” Euijin blinked and tilted his head in surprise.  
Feeldog turned his question back on him, “What do you want to talk about?”   
“Daewon told me that Kijoong bit another boy at the playground. The boy had been arguing with Chan. I guess it escalated so that the boy’s mother ended up getting involved.” Euijin told him.   
Feeldog didn’t say anything. He stood up and walked inside the house.  
Euijin followed him inside. “What’s the problem? What’s eating you?”  
“Quit nagging me. Go play momma to the little kids.” Feeldog glared.   
“You’re not the type to be mean when you’re mad.” Euijin snapped.  
Feeldog reprimanded in a voice that was cold, “Don’t yell, you’ll wake everyone.”

Done with the whole conversation, Euijin walked out of the house and into the yard and beyond into the long grass of the meadow. He found the spot where they liked to cloud watch, the grass was all pressed down, and laid there. Even away from the house, the night was still too dark to see anything, and the breeze had completely died down. The dark, the silence, the anger he felt boiling in his stomach, all combined to make him feel like he was suffocating. He was used to rejection and being shut out, but he hadn’t expected it to come from Feeldog. They were family, or at least Euijin felt that they were, and that meant sharing your worries. 

When he felt sure that he’d stayed out long enough for Feeldog to have gone to bed, Euijin slowly made his way back to the house, very quietly opened the door, slipped inside, and shut it just as quiet. Feeldog dozed in the corner of the sofa with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Euijin gently set his shoes down on the floor and stealthily tiptoed towards the ladder. His emotions still too muddled for him to make sense of them.   
Feeldog’s hand reached out and grabbed his arm. “Don’t go.” Feeldog gazed up at him with eyes that shimmered with deep emotions.   
Euijin hesitated.   
Feeldog continued to hold tight to Euijin’s arm; his fingers squeezed even tighter. “Stay here and talk to me.”   
Euijin removed his hand and moved to the other end of the sofa, putting distance between himself and the person he considered his best friend.   
“Sorry about earlier,” Feeldog admitted. “I’m confused and don’t know what to do.”   
“What about?” Euijin asked honestly wanting to know.   
“Don’t you want to dance with that crew? I know you watch them and try to copy their moves.”  
“Yeah. Of course, I do,“ Euijin thought for a minute, “but it’s not a good idea. You know it’s better to keep to ourselves. Not to take chances trusting others.” His expression grew dark like his face had clouded over. He didn’t look at Feeldog as he said, “sometimes people try to help you, but instead it makes things worse.” He shook it off. “I told them I live with my grandmother and it was too far to come practice.” Something occurred to him, “were you jealous that they asked me?”  
“A little,” Feeldog admitted. “I was thinking that it’d be nice to go back being a regular kid. Sometimes, this seems like it’s too much.”  
Euijin frowned. “If you need more time to yourself or help to figure out how to solve a problem, you can ask us.”   
“In the bookstore, the paper said that there was flooding in the neighborhood where my family lives. I don’t know if everything is okay.”   
“So you want to go home to see if they’re all right,” Euijin guessed,”but you can’t because of us.”  
Feeldog nodded.   
“Daewon and I, we don’t have a family like you do. Marco’s dad is in jail. There’s nothing for us there.” Euijin stood up and started touching the spines of CDs. “But you and the other kids that have a family, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want too.”   
“What if going means I can’t come back? You all are as much of my family as they are.” Feeldog shook his head, “How can I leave you to take care of the family on your own? If you left me, I don’t think I could manage. We barely get by.”  
Euijin whispered barely loud enough for Feeldog to hear, “I want you to be happy. How can you be happy if you’re worried about your other family?” He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts and then said, “think about it some more. Going doesn’t have to mean never coming back, right?” Euijin suddenly was too tired to talk anymore, “I’m going to bed. Let’s talk about this more tomorrow.”

Upstairs in the loft, Euijin stripped down to his tee-shirt and underwear before climbing under a thin blanket. The room was so hot that he had a hard time staying asleep. He’d doze, wake, stare at the ceiling for a while, move from one side to the other in an attempt to get comfortable, doze again, and repeat everything. His head and chest hurt, but he’d learned to ignore that kind of pain when he was a child. He shut down, grew numb.   
Feeldog lay in his space next to him. Euijin suspected that he wasn’t sleeping well either.


	8. Mixed Bag of Blessings part 2

“Tell them about what happened at the park,” Euijin, who stood with his arms crossed, ordered. He’d gathered Daewon, Marco, and Hojung together while the little kids played. They all stood behind the shed near where the swallows nested but far enough away that they didn’t bother the birds.  
“We went to that new playground near the river. You know the one that has a nice slide and part like a fort. Chan’s been wanting to play there a long time, but we never do. So, I said okay. There were another little boy and his brother playing while their mother sat on a bench looking at her phone. The little boy started playing with Chan. Kijoong and I were making a sandcastle. They got along really well, but then his brother grew jealous and tried to make him play on the swings with him. The little boy didn’t want to go. The brother started a fight with Chan and pushed him. When Chan tried to defend himself, both brothers ganged up on him. That’s when Kijoong bit the youngest one. When I tried to stop the fight, the mother came over and started yelling at me.” Daewon ended his story with, “she was scary. Her face turned bright red, and she wouldn’t let me talk.”  
Marco sighed, “It’s over now, so I don’t see what the problem is.”  
Daewon’s shoulders hunched, “she wanted to know where we lived and kept trying to get me to give her my mother’s number.”  
“Oh,” Hojung breathed.  
“What did you do?” Marco asked.  
“Chan kicked her hard in the shin, and we ran away.” Daewon looked ashamed.  
“I think,” Euijin began slowly, “that you and the little kids should stay home for the next few market days.”  
“That’s going to be hard. Chan won’t like it, and we’ll have to rearrange the choreography.” Hojung picked a piece of grass and chewed the end.  
“Why isn’t Feeldog part of this meeting?” Daewon suddenly asked.  
Euijin tried to look unperturbed by the question “He has a lot on his mind right now.”  
After dinner, Euijin explained the plan without going into too much detail to all of the cousins. “We’re going to have to work on adjusting some of the routines.”  
Chan, apparently upset at the idea of staying home, pouted. Kijoong didn’t care at all.  
When he looked up, Feeldog watched him wearing an unreadable expression. “Let’s talk outside. You all clean up and do the dishes.”  
“Why wasn’t I a part of the meeting? You wouldn’t make a decision like that without having one. You purposely left me out. Are you even going to tell me what happened to Chan and Kijoong that they have to stay home?” Obviously hurt, Feeldog accused Euijin.  
Euijin changed the topic by asking the question he really needed an answer to, “Did you decide yet?”  
Feeldog glared at him and didn’t say anything.  
“Go.” Euijin encouraged, “You want to, so go. But don’t just leave. They all deserve a goodbye.”  
“What will I tell them?”  
“Tell the truth.”  
In the middle of the night, Feeldog rolled over and reached for his hand. A part of Euijin wondered if Feedog would stay if he didn’t let go of his friend’s hand. He couldn’t ask him not to leave but the idea of him leaving made Euijin feel like yowling wordlessly up at the moon.

The next morning, Feeldog packed his backpack and another bag. The cousins all gathered on the porch as he said his goodbyes. As a group, they walked him to the edge of the woods. Euijin was the only one who escorted him to the paved road. He hugged his friend goodbye. Before Euijin could step away, Feeldog wrapped his arms around him, hugging him back, and crying. 

“You’re my very best friend in the whole world.” Euijin breathed against Feeldog’s ear. “We’ll see each other again.” He whispered what he wanted to happen but wasn’t sure if it actually would come true.

Feeldog squeezed him, then let go. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped. 

Euijin pulled a transportation card of his jeans pocket and offered it to Feeldog, “You might need this.” Feeldog reached forward and took it. Euijin warned, “The bus is coming,” 

Feeldog ran to the bus stop, his backpack bouncing on his back. He came close to missing it and managed to get there just as the door was shutting. He knocked on the glass. The driver opened it with a frown. Feeldog climbed the steps, paid, and sat close to the front. He gazed out the window all the way to the city in the hills. From there, he took an express bus south four and a half hours until he reached the coast and the city of his birth. 

Feeldog's hand trembled as he boarded a city bus and rode to his old block. Everything was the same as it used to be, only he was different. Before he’d known the neighborhood was dingy and poor, but now, after seeing the better areas of a larger city, it was even dinger and more miserable. The bus reached his stop, and he climbed down the steps. The place smelled a little worse than he remembered. 

Still unsure if coming home was the right move, Feeldog wore a ball cap pulled low in the hopes that no one would recognize him. Checking the time, he scowled. His parents wouldn’t be home until evening which left him with three hours to kill. He tried to decide where to go. Walking past his old school was too risky. So was going to the park by the bridge where they used to hang out and dance. Feeldog realized he hadn't planned his return home out well. He'd been acting on his emotions.  
He picked a direction at random and started walking. He eventually found himself standing in front of a large city library, a place he’d only been in a handful of times before leaving home. After carefully slipping past the librarians, Feeldog found a secluded desk on the second floor. He stashed his bags under the desk and went to find something to read. He fell asleep with his cheek resting on the open book.  
When he opened his eyes again, a voice coming through a loudspeaker announced that the library was closing for the day. He quickly slipped his backpack on and grabbed his other bag. He watched and waited till the coast was clear to walk out.

His stomach growled. He was too anxious to eat though. His stomach was tangled into so many knots that the thought of food made him feel sick.  
His steps sped up and, as he turned the corner to his family’s apartment complex, he hesitated. The nervous, sick feeling in his stomach grew overwhelming. His palms were sweaty, and his heart thundered in his chest. He didn’t even know what to say, “Hello, I’m back,” after being gone for close to a year didn’t seem right. Still, he walked forward and then opened their apartment building door and climbed the three flights of stairs to reach their floor. Feeldog took a calming breath as he stood in front of the apartment door only to hear a loud crash coming from the other side and his mother yelling. He could tell by the tone she was crying. A much deeper bass voice answered her.  
When he was younger, he always worried that his parents were fighting about him but, as Feeldog grew older, he realized that they mostly fought over money and his father’s drinking habits. For half a second, he was back to being that scared little kid, afraid that he’d done something wrong to cause them to argue. The remembered feeling stabbed like a dagger into his heart. “I’ll wait and come back later to give them time to get over it,” he decided.  
And left the way he came.  
When he was across the street, he saw two of the women that lived in the building walking towards him.  
Fear gripping him, he turned around and faced a store window. Inside, people sipped coffee and did the things they usually did in a cafe.  
The police pulled up in front of the apartment building, Feeldog could see their reflection in the window, and the women passed him.  
One said to the other, “I bet it’s that couple on the third floor again. They fight almost every day.”

The only place he could think of going was the apartment where Daewon used to squat. On the way, he stopped at a convenience store, bought ramen and a triangle kimbap which he ate while sitting at the counter. After finishing his meal, he walked to the falling down, condemned building where Daewon lived only to discover that it was being renovated. From there, he hiked the long distance to the city center and spent a few hours curled up on a bench in a different park. Occasionally, a couple would pass him by and, after a while, drunks stumbled home.  
He’d never felt so alone in his life. 

Before he’d run away, they’d all crash at Daewon’s even though the place had mold growing under peeling wallpaper and smelled a little like piss. It was infested with bugs and mice. When Feeldog first saw the old crumbling apartment, he’d never imagined that someone could live in such a place.  
Back then, he hadn’t understood Daewon’s and Marco’s lives. Euijin hardly talked about the foster home or his past. Marco was the one who told Feeldog that Euijin had spent his childhood in an orphanage. When he’d suggested leaving, Feeldog had convinced himself that he was doing it for them. Home could be bad sometimes, but, he rationalized, there were food and a bed at least.  
Feeldog suddenly felt like crying as he realized that he’d never have left home if it wasn’t for Euijin, Marco, and Daewon. Their friendship made him fearless, but he’d convinced himself that he was the one that made them brave. When they’d met the others, he’d gone on lying to himself.  
Now, he couldn’t anymore. The memories flooded back, one after another. As he sat there with nothing to distract him, no longer able to lie to himself, he was forced to acknowledge the reality of what his life had been. Somehow, he’d managed to trick himself into forgetting. When he’d seen the newspaper article, all he could think about was the good times, but there had been fewer of those each year until finally they’d been buried under the bad.  
Everything hurt. If someone asked Feeldog how he felt, he wouldn't know how to describe the pain. There wasn't a word for it. From his throat to his stomach, to even his muscles, he ached. But mostly it was in his heart. He’d yearned for those parents that were better in his memory than they were in real life.

Gray dawn peeked over the building roofs, and he knew that it was time to leave.  
At the central bus station, he took out his return ticket and, after checking the time, realized he had just made the express bus. The bus driver checked his ticket and questioned, “aren’t you a little young to be riding the bus alone?”  
“My mom is sick, and my dad is sending me to my grandmother’s house.” Feeldog lied and managed to look upset enough that the bus driver believed it.  
The driver talked to him a bit, offering a few words of consolation, before telling him to go to his seat.

Walking down the tire tracks, Feeldog could tell by the angle of the light that it was mid-afternoon. The woods were familiar and welcoming. The leaves rustled in the trees and, once or twice, he heard an animal scampering somewhere out of site. A breeze pushed at his back urging him forward.

All of the cousins were out in the yard practicing, almost like they were waiting for him. The pain that had haunted him since leaving his parent’s apartment building erupted. His face was wet with tears as Chan ran to him and wrapped his arms around him. Quickly, Feeldog was surrounded by arms as almost everyone tried to hug him at once. Euijin, the exception, watched from a distance. Feeldog could tell he was shocked to see him.

For the rest of the day, Chan never let him leave his sight, and he was the one requested to read the bedtime story. Feeldog quietly shut the book after the little kids were asleep and watched them for a while. This was home now, and he’d do his best to be the leader that they believed him to be.  
Hojung and Daewon climbed into the loft, ready to sleep.  
“Are you okay?” Hojung worried.  
“Yeah,” Feeldog reassured him. 

Downstairs when they were alone, Feeldog lay down with his head in Euijin’s lap as his friend studied astronomy. He gazed up into Euijin’s face.“I bet you missed me.”  
“You weren’t gone long enough for me to miss you.” Euijin teased.  
Feeldog rolled over onto his side and bit Euijin’s thigh.  
Euijin tried to push him off. They both ended up on the floor laughing.  
Daewon stuck his head out of the loft, “what’s going on down there? You’re so noisy.”  
“Nothing.” They both said at once.  
Feeldog repeated the other teen’s words when he left back to him, “You’re my very best friend in the whole world.”  
Euijin smiled, “who else would be your friend?”  
Feeldog lightly whacked him on the back of the head. “Do you know, when I was on the bus ride home, some old lady thought I was an elementary school student?” He said in disgust. “I had to tell her that I was thirteen. She didn’t believe me.”  
“That’s because you’re such a shorty.” Euijin teased.  
“And you’re so tall.” Feeldog teased back.  
“Do you want to go outside and look at stars with me?”  
“No,” Feeldog rested his head on Euijin’s shoulder. “I want to stay right here.”  
Euijin was overwhelmed with the feeling of relief. He whispered, "Things weren't the same without you. Everyone was quiet. Chan cried a lot. Kijoong cried because Chan was crying." Euijin stopped talking for a minute, the next few words were painfully hard to say. "I missed you. Not because everyone else was upset but simply because I missed you. Don't ever leave and not come back."  
“Euijin,” Feeldog turned his head and eyes towards his friends face, “you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

Later, they fell asleep holding hands for the second time in their lives.


	9. The Birthday Party

At bedtime, the younger kids begged Euijin to be the one to read them a story and, when he sat down, they dropped a book in his lap.  
“Read this one.” Jun asked, “Please, Euijin.” He wrapped his arm through the older boy’s, tilted his head to the side, and tried to look extra cute.  
Seeing Jun, Chan also tried to be his most charming. “You’re good at reading books, momma.”  
Euijin was sure that the book was part of some grander scheme. Rather than say anything, he looked at the title: Hana Hippo Bakes a Birthday Cake. Euijin was sure he knew where this was going.  
The book was so simple that Chan could’ve read it on his own, if he wanted, and he probably had. True to its title, a Hippo tried to bake a cake for her friend’s birthday, but it turned out to be a burnt, soggy mess. The poor hippo sat at a table crying with her face in her hands. Her friend, Oksoo Ostrich, showed up and saved the day by helping her bake a new cake. The book ended with the picture of a big party in a garden with the cake displayed proudly in the center of a table that was surrounded by happy animals.  
Euijin closed the book and said, straightfaced, “that was a good story.”  
“Wasn’t it nice how they baked a cake together?” Jun asked flashing his winning smile.  
Chan ventured, “Kijoong has never had a birthday.”  
Knowing he had to tread softly, Euijin carefully began, “what do you think birthdays are like?”  
“Cake and decorations,” Jun answered.  
“Eating something delicious,” Chan added.  
Euijin suspected that most of their birthday ideas came from books or things they’d seen on tv before they left home. “So, you were thinking about celebrating, Kijoong’s birthday?”  
“Well,” Chan started but didn’t finish. He looked at Jun, revealing the ringleader of the birthday plot.  
“We thought we could have a party for all of us. One big birthday. We’d only need one cake then.” Jun explained.  
Euijin let out a loud sigh and tried to buy time, “I need to talk to the others first before I say yes.”  
Jun and Chan were all smiles. Their eyes danced with dreams of cakes topped with strawberries and candles like the one in the book. Kijoong had already fallen asleep.

Euijin remembered being young and wanting to be invited to his classmates birthdays. He never was. He pursed his lips and thought hard. Making decorations should be simple and they might even be able to make party hats like the animals wore in the books. The tricky thing was the birthday cake and presents. 

The next day, after dance practice, Euijin took Feeldog, Marco, Daewon, and Hojung aside. “The little kids want a family birthday party with a cake.”  
Suddenly confused, Daewon asked, “Whose birthday is it?”  
“Everyone’s.” Euijin stumbled. “They want one party for all of us.”  
Feeldog’s eyes sparkled, “Sounds fun.”  
“We could draw names,” Marco suggested. “You make a present and a card for whoever’s name you draw.”  
“What about the cake?” Hojung asked. “When we first came here, you both burned rice. How are you going to bake a cake?”  
Euijin shrugged, and then answered with more confidence than he felt,  
“There are directions in the back of the book.”

The day played out like any other day and, after dinner, they explained the birthday plan.  
Jun whooped and danced around.  
Chan ran to Jun and hugged him then danced hand in hand with him.  
Kijoong, not really understanding, clapped his hands happily.  
They wrote their names on scrap paper, folded them, placed them in a bowl, and then Feeldog used his hand to swirl the pieces of paper around, mixing them up. The dish was passed, and everyone drew a name. Marco pulled two names, one for himself and one for Kijoong.

Euijin carefully unfolded the paper he’d drawn, after first making sure no one else could see it, and read Feeldog’s name. Euijin inwardly groaned. He couldn't image what gift suited their leader.

They spent a whole week making presents and decorations. They cut out and decorated stars that Marco strung to make a garland. Jun and Chan worked together to create a happy birthday banner. They’d written the letters for the words in crayon. Even though they were a little sloppy and tilted, no one cared. Chan insisted on trying to draw a hippo by Jun’s birthday cake illustration. 

Euijin woke before Feeldog one morning and snuck out into the shed. He had a plastic bag and looked for all the things that his friend might use in his art. He collected nuts, bolts, some wire, and bottles. He found more bottles and wire when he was in the city. 

Hansol asked for their help. He wanted to make Jun a dragon onesie. At the recycling center, he picked out an old hoodie and a couple of small baby blankets. That night, Feeldog had Hannsol cut one of the blankets into two large triangles. Feeldog sewed the longest triangle edge to the underside of the hoodie’s arm and another edge along the hoodie’s side. The end effect looked less like wings and more like the flaps flying lizards used to float through the air. They cut the other baby blanket into smaller triangles which Feeldog stitched in a line from the top of the hood down to the bottom hem on the back. The smaller triangles were supposed to resemble a dragon's spiked scales.

The problem was the cake. The recipe at the back of the book called for an oven. The house didn’t have one.  
“Do you think we can bake it in a pot?” Euijin asked Feeldog.  
“Look at all these ingredients: white wheat baking flour; butter... What’s vanilla extract?” Feeldog wondered aloud.  
“A cake from a bakery would be too expensive wouldn’t it?” Hansol surprised them by asking. They’d thought he’d gone to bed after finishing the hoodie.  
Feeldog slapped his leg as a solution occurred to him, “You know what’s good on your birthday? A choco-pie. One of us can go into town and get a pie for each of us. We can even put a little candle in each pie.”  
Euijin felt relieved. “Choco-pies are good. Let’s do that then.”  
Hansol left, climbing the loft steps without saying anything. 

Finally, the day came for their big party. Marco and Hansol who’d volunteered the night before woke up early to buy the choco-pies and candles. 

The younger kids, especially Jun, were disappointed that they weren’t going to make a cake. They quickly forgot about their disappointment as they decorated the porch. They hung the star garland draped from one post to another and taped the birthday banner on the house wall. Daewon swept the porch twice. Hojung set up a small table for the choco-pies. 

The cousins waited for Marco and Hansol to return. Every ten minutes, Chan would run to where the tire tracks left the woods, peering down the tracks hoping for a sign of the two boys, and then run back home, loudly announcing there was no sign of them.

The sun climbed a little higher in the sky until it was close to two in the afternoon. Chan went to check and when he finally returned, he held a black plastic bag that he swung back and forth.while Hansol walked very slowly. In his hands, he very carefully carried a white bakery box.  
"A cake! We have a real cake!” Chan shouted as he skipped, beaming brightly.  
Euijin and Feeldog turned around, eyes wide with surprise.

Hansol lifted the cake up and set it on a wooden cutting board. It was round with blue frosting ringing the top edge and had “Happy Birthday” written in yellow frosting in the center. Jun’s eyes were huge as he read the words out loud. They’d also brought home choco-pies that they arranged in a pyramid type shape on a plate. Very carefully, Jun put three candles in the center of both the birthday cake and the pies.  
They sang happy birthday, clapping and being as noisy as they wanted. Hansol cut wedges of cake, trying hard to make sure they were the same size and gave everyone a piece. Chan placed a choco-pie next to the cake slices. Kijoong’s face ended up covered in chocolate and blue frosting; Chan’s face wasn’t much better. 

One by one, starting from youngest to the oldest, they went around handing their presents to each other.  
Chan had drawn Kijoong a comic book starring a giraffe, a puppy, a frog, and a pig who made a fort in the woods.  
Daewon gave Chan six coupons that he could cash in for Daewon to do his chores for him.  
Hansol gave Jun the dragon sweatshirt he made. Jun put it on and smiled as he wore it for the whole rest of the day.  
Marco surprised Hansol by giving him a self-portrait and laughed at Hansol’s shocked face. The other boy was too dumbfounded to say anything about the gag gift. “Here,” Marco gave him a box of cookies and a coloring book based on a cartoon he liked.  
Hojung gave Marco a can full of nightcrawlers for fishing and a little bag full of skipping stones.  
Kijoong gave Hojung a homemade crown that he’d decorated and a birthday card which included a coupon for Hojung being King for a Day. (The coupon was in Marco’s handwriting.)  
Jun gave Daewon a flower he’d dug up and planted in an old can that he’d painted.  
Somehow, against odds, Feeldog and Euijin had drawn each other’s names.  
“You go first,” Feeldog insisted.  
A little embarrassed, Euijin stood and retrieved his plastic bag full of bottles and other found things. “For your art,” he said as he handed it to his friend.  
Feeldog looked through the bags, exclaiming happily.  
Feeldog handed Euijin something wrapped in a black plastic garbage bag. “Here,” he said.  
Euijin slowly took the plastic off and saw that Feeldog had drawn a family portrait of all the cousins together. He’d cut out a cardboard frame and decorated that with dried flowers, leaves, as well as little drawings of Petal the rabbit, her children, and the swallows. Euijin suddenly felt a lump in his throat.  
“We helped.” Chan piped in. “Jun and I glued the flowers on.”  
“Where should we put this,” Euijin asked.  
Chan bounced in his seat, “I know where. I know where.”  
Both the cardboard frame the picture was glued to each other and another piece of cardboard on the back with a wire for hanging. The went inside and took one of the owner’s large framed photographs down and hung the portrait up. Then they all stood and looked at it a second.  
Euijin smiled broadly and draped his arm around Chan’s shoulders. “This has been the best birthday of my life.”  
“Mine too.” The younger boy echoed.  
“There’s enough wood that we could have a bonfire,” Marco suggested. “We can have a regular dinner and then build one.”  
Everyone agreed that a bonfire was the perfect way to end a birthday party. 

A little dragon, tiger, and puppy watched the fire happily. Jun tried to talk Chan into giving him one of his coupons.  
Chan refused, “They say on them you can’t give them to someone else. Daewon showed me.”  
Feeldog poked the fire with a long stick, causing sparks to fly up into the night sky.  
“The stars are so much brighter out here.” Hojung gazed upwards. “I never used to notice them all that much.”  
Euijin replied with what he’d learned in his astronomy book, “The city lights make it hard to see the stars. It’s called light pollution.”  
“What’s that star over there?” Hojung pointed northwest.  
Euijin answered, “That’s not a star. That’s Venus.”  
“Venus is a planet. How come it’s so bright?” Jun asked.  
Euijin thought and couldn’t remember the answer. “Don’t know.”

Daewon and Hansol herded the younger kids inside to get ready for bed. Marco went to follow them when Feeldog grabbed his wrist.  
“Tell me,” Feeldog asked the younger teen, “how did you find the money to buy that cake?”  
Marco hesitated before answering, “Hansol sold his watch. I tried to talk him out of it but,” he shrugged, “he wanted the kids to have a cake. When Kijoong had to go to the bathroom, and we'd visited that bakery, all Jun did was stare at the cakes. Hansol remembered that.” He frowned. “The man at the pawnshop tried to rip him off. I had to argue before he’d give Hansol a fair deal but, honestly, that watch was worth more than the price of one cake.”  
“Not to Hansol.” Feeldog reminded him.  
Marco seemed a little embarrassed after that,“Yeah.”

Later, when the fire had burned down to embers that Feeldog put out with a bucket of water, Euijin followed the cousin’s leader inside. He stopped in front of the family picture and straightened it just a little.  
“You made it crooked again.” Feeldog corrected.  
“Looking at this picture makes me feel like we’re a real family,” Eujin told him.  
“It should.” Feeldog laughed at him, teasing, “We are a real family."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Years ago when I first started listening to Kpop, I had a friend online whose family was originally from Pakistan. When she was growing up, she always longed for a birthday cake but never had one. (In the US, cakes are a big deal. She grew up in Texas.) Her family didn’t celebrate birthdays like that. Now, every time I see a birthday cake, I think of her and dedicate this chapter to her. I hope someone finally surprised her with a cake.


	10. B is for Bicycle

The closest small village only had a postage stamp size grocery store that was slightly bigger than a convenience store. The cousins avoided that village because they didn’t want anyone to figure out where they were living. The next closest village was twice the distance in the opposite direction, and the route took them off the main highway onto a pothole-ridden, barely two-lane road that hugged the side of the mountain leaving almost no shoulder to walk along. The view allowed them to see deep into the valley that lay just below. In the early morning, the whole valley filled with white, cotton-candy fog that sometimes spilled up and over the road. Cars and trucks, unafraid of the steep fall-off, quickly sped by. After walking there and back again a few times when they ran out of supplies, Feeldog and Euijin decided that it was too far and too dangerous.   
“If we had a bike, we could ride to the closest town. It would be faster than walking there and back again.” Marco complained and wheedled as he looked at the last roll of toilet paper and knew they’d run out of cooking oil the night before.  
Buying all the needed necessities and groceries in the city then carrying them home on the bus, was a pain. Now that the bus was always crowded, there often wasn’t room in the overhead compartments, and it was uncomfortable to have a lap filled with a full bag for the entire trip home. They’d started buying half in the city and half in the town when they picked up the food pantry box. But, since they tried to only buy things when they were on sale, they occasionally miscalculated and ran out.   
Feeldog sighed, “There’s enough toilet paper to last until we get to town tomorrow.”   
“You just want a bike,” Hojung flippantly teased.   
“I think a bike would be nice,” Jun mumbled as he ate his last bite of stew. Only chicken bones remained on a plate in the center of their table.  
“We can’t afford to buy a bike,” Daewon offered in a regretful tone.   
The discussion ended as they all started the evening chores. 

The next afternoon as they met up at an outdoor amphitheater that was built into the side of a hill, Marco watched bicyclist ride by on sidewalk that ran parallel to the mountain.   
Feeldog lightly hit him in the back of the head, “Stop thinking about bikes. Someone would notice if you suddenly tried to bring a bike onto the bus.”   
They set up the battery operated boom box, and Euijin started trying to pump the crowd up. Euijin and Feeldog encouraged Daewon to go first. He showed off the acrobatics he’d been practicing. He stunned with cartwheels, hand walking, and a few back handsprings. The small audience cheered and applauded. Marco was next with a skit that featured his magic tricks, but the highlight was his gags and jokes. The audience laughed loudly. All the cousins, except Kijoong who watched, performed a dance routine. This was followed by Euijin’s and Feeldog’s mini dance battle. Marco came out from the side and asked the audience to vote on the winner. Somedays, it was Euijin, and other times it was Feeldog but this day they tied. Kijoong jumped up with his hand in the air and shouted that he voted for Feeldog to win. The audience laughed again. They did two more routines, the last one featured Hansol’s long solo dance. Whoever wasn’t on stage, held a small pail that slowly filled with money, increasing their desire to perform harder.  
By the end, they were all exhausted and covered in sweat. The cousins all had a short break and then started over from the beginning.

Jun begged to walk with Hansol and Marco to go get the food box from the pantry. He skipped along and chatted. Occasionally, he would stop and try to mimic some of Euijin’s moves.   
“I am going to be the best dancer in the whole world when I grow up,” Jun announced. “Even better than you, Hansol.”  
“Didn’t you say you wanted to be an actor?” Marco asked the younger boy.  
He shrugged, “I changed my mind.”  
“I thought you were going to be a rapper like Feeldog?” Hansol teased him.  
“I’ll do it all: singing, dancing, and raping.” Jun kept dreaming, “I’ll be a chef too. I’m going to open a fancy restaurant. They’ll be steak and cakes and pork belly. Everything delicious.”  
“You’re going to do all that?” Marco asked pretending amazement.  
Jun suddenly lost some of his shine, “At least some of it. I might not be able to do all of it.”   
Marco comforted him, “Well, having at least one dream come true is pretty good. I’ll bet you’ll have at least two.”   
“What are your dreams?” Jun asked the two older cousins as he reached out and grabbed a hand from each.  
“I only dream about dancing,” Hansol answered honestly.  
“I’m still deciding,” Marco swung Jun’s arm as he moved his own, “doing stage magic is fun, but I also like making people laugh. I like composing raps too.” He changed the subject, “What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same?”  
“What?” Jun and Hansol asked at the same time.  
“Itenticle.” Marco smiled.  
Hansol shook his head, “that one was terrible.”  
Jun stopped walking and laughed. “what did one ocean say to the other ocean?” He finally managed to ask as they reached the church.   
“I told you this one the other day.” Marco reprimanded.  
“I don’t know it.” Hansol turned to Jun, “So what did the ocean say?”  
Jun let go of Marco’s hand and only held on to Hansol’s, “Nothing, they just waved.”   
The line for the food boxes stretched down the hallway and into the church’s main lobby. A kind woman who worked there offered Jun a sucker and told him that other kids were playing outside. She offered to introduce him. He looked at the older cousins. Hansol said it was okay and Jun followed her out with slow steps. 

When he’d first started coming to the food pantry, the line for food had amazed Hansol. He’d whispered to Marco, “are there really so many hungry people in this town?”  
“Most people are too proud to come and get handouts,” Marco whispered back. “The line would reach around the block and keep going if everyone came.”   
Now, Hansol was used to the line and, despite his shyness, he smiled at the volunteers who ran the pantry. 

When it was their turn, another woman looked up from her clipboard, “you know, if your parents came, we could give you more food if you need it. You said you have a big family.”   
“They’d like to come, but they work.” Marco offered the same explanation he always did.  
This particular volunteer always wore her hair in a ponytail and put a little extra effort into her job. She tried to convince them, “Without them, we can only give you the basic box for a family of three.”   
“Any little bit helps,” Marco replied with his second eye smile.   
Ponytail smiled back. “You guys are such good kids. Last week, I saw you dancing downtown. You all aren’t related are you?”  
Marco was forced to improvise, “It feels like it. Our village is pretty small.”  
“You should come to Sunday service too.” She offered them a religious pamphlet   
Hansol accepted it as a forced half-smile. The woman always asked too many questions. He found her to be nosey, but Marco always shrugged it off when he complained.   
“Remembered when they had extra onions and she gave us a few more? Or what about the time she gave us apples?” Marco reminded him when he complained.   
Hansol stayed quiet. The apples had been nice, but no one knew what to do with the extra onions. Whoever was tasked with cooking, had doubled the amount of onions or added them to things like ramen till they were used up. Hansol had come close to hating onions. 

Outside, the kids were playing ‘the rose of Sharon has bloomed.’ They watched as Jun tried to sneak his way up to a young girl who was it but ended up being caught moving. 

When Jun finished the game, they all walked back to the bus station, and he told them how one of the other boys had a new bike. He’d showed it off and even let Jun try sitting on the seat.   
“That bike was so cool,” Jun told Marco. “Maybe someday, you can have a bike like that.”   
He told the story to Chan on the way home and again at dinner. By the next day, though, he had forgotten it, but Chan hadn’t.  
“Bikes are costly, aren’t they?” Chan asked Daewon.   
“They can be.” Daewon looked at him. “What are you thinking about?”  
“The kid who let Jun ride his bike must be rich.”  
“Maybe not really rich but richer than us,” Daewon answered. “But, if we had a bike, only one person could ride it. I think it’s better to spend money on something we all can use.” Then Daewon changed the topic, “do you want to learn to do somersaults?”   
Chan sighed, “I already know how. And I can do a headstand.”  
“I was going to start teaching Kijoong,” Daewon informed him.  
That changed Chan’s mind, “I’ll help, and then you can help me do a cartwheel.”  
“Deal.” Daewon shook on it.

As all the cousins were sleeping, a storm blew in. Thunder crashed, and lightning lit up the sky waking most of them. Daewon closed the loft windows as Marco cuddled Kijoong on his lap. Euijin and Hojung climbed down the ladder to close all the downstairs windows. When they were sure that the house was taken care of, everyone returned to bed. The upstairs turned into a sauna.   
The storm raged on outside when Chan, unable to sleep, remembered the magic lamp. A really bright streak of lightning lit up the whole loft. Kijoong whimpered. Chan looked over at their youngest family member, hoping he didn’t end up having a bad nightmare. The older cousins settled back into their spots.   
The last time they made a wish, it had been storming. Maybe the genie needed a storm to make a wish come true, Chan thought, but then quietly reprimanded himself for being a baby who believed in genies. Finally, assuming he was the only one awake, he slowly crawled out from under the covers and to where Kijoong lay nestled between Marco and Daewon. Very gently, he woke Kijoong and then made sure he understood he needed to be quiet.   
They retrieved the lamp and then huddled together with it between them near a window.   
“Should we make a wish?” Chan asked Kijoong.   
The other boy nodded solemnly.   
“But what should we wish for?” Chan asked both himself and the toddler. “We can’t ask for the same wish twice.”  
“A bike,” Kijoong answered. “I want to ride a bike like Jun.”   
“A bike would be nice. Do you think a genie can grant such a big wish? Maybe we should wish for something else.” Chan tried to change his mind.  
“No, this is the best wish.” Kijoong insisted.  
Against his better judgment, Chan rubbed the lamp, and together they made their wish. They waited. Lightning flashed, and thunder boomed.  
“The genie was listening.” Kijoong smiled.   
“Remember, we can’t tell anyone, or the wish won’t come true,” Chan instructed Kijoong in a stern voice.   
They snuck back over to the shelf holding their clothes and had just buried the lamp when Feeldog woke up.  
“What are you two doing?” He asked and then said more to himself, “I have to pee.”   
“Nothing.” Chan lied.   
Kijoong ran and laid down next to Daewon.   
“Hmmh.” Feeldog made his way to the opening. He stared at Chan in an attempt to get him to confess what he’d been up to. When that didn’t work, he turned around to descend the ladder. “Well, go back to bed.”

During breakfast, Kijoong and Chan peeked outside to see if the genie had answered their wish, but no bikes waited in front of the house. After eating, they ran around the whole house and the shed. They still couldn’t find bikes.   
“Wishes take time,” Chan reminded a disappointed Kijoong.   
Hojung called them for an exercise class.   
Kijoong tried to hide, but Euijin found him   
“Come on,” the oldest cousin told him, “it won’t be so bad.” 

For the next two days, they looked for the bike, but it never showed up. By the third day, dispirited and not really believing, they checked one last time. Right there by the shed, was a tall bike with a milk crate strapped behind the seat. Beside it, stood a smaller bike that was the perfect size for Jun and a little high for Chan but rideable. Last, a three-wheeled tricycle sat a little ways away. None of the bikes looked new to Chan, but they were so beautiful that he hugged Kijoong tightly.  
“See, Channie, the genie is real!” Kijoong was overjoyed.  
In awe, Chan whispered, “I know.” 

They ran to the house and dragged the other cousins to see the bikes.   
“Look!” Chan flung out his arm and pointed towards them. “We now have three bikes!”   
While the older cousins were shocked, Jun was excited. He sat on the smaller bike. 

Over the next few days, they discovered that it was harder to ride a bike on the overgrown tire tracks than they imagined. Kijoong and his tricycle were limited to the cement slab in front of the shed. But those difficulties didn’t matter. The happiness the gifts brought the younger cousins lasted way into the summer.

The older cousins, away from the ears of the younger ones, worried about where the bikes came from. Marco insisted that he hadn’t talked about wanting a bike with anyone from the church or the town.   
“Even if I had, how would they know where we live?” Marco asked Daewon, Euijin, and Feeldog when he was questioned for the tenth time about who he’d talked too.  
Feeldog shook his head, “why would anyone spy on us? We have don’t anything too suspicious.”   
“Wouldn’t it make more sense, if someone found us, that they’d report us to the authorities? We’re squatting in this house, and we’re runaways.” Euijin countered.  
“If we had a guard dog, it would let us know if someone comes close to the house,” Daewon suggested.  
“No dog.” Eujin and Feeldog said at the same time.   
Daewon sighed, dispirited.   
Euijin ended the conversation, “We’ll have to wait and see what happens next.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long break between chapters. I've had some personal matters to deal with and UNB's comeback has taken up more time than I thought it would but that's mostly me not managing things well. Hoping to get back on track this week.


	11. Enemies For A Day

“Let’s choose teams.” Feeldog sat on a fallen log with the rest of the cousins crowded around him.   
“I’m tired of playing. The teams are always the same, and we never win.” Euijin complained. “You and I always end up as captains. No one else ever has a chance because of how the voting goes.”   
They’d finished their third game of capture the flag the evening before, and team Feeldog had won again. Somehow, every time they chose teams, Euijin ended up with Daewon, Hansol, and Jun while Feeldog ended up with Marco, Hojung, and Chan. Kijoong was traded back and forth during the games. When they flipped a coin to decide who had first pick of what side of the clearing that they wanted as their home base, Feeldog’s team had won two out of three times. They always chose the eastern wood side which had the stream in it. Marco knew that side like the back of his hand.   
“Who else feels that way,” the cousin’s leader asked.   
The rest of Euijin’s team and Chan raised their hands.   
Surprised, Feeldog blurted out, “You too Chan?”  
“I never get to be with Jun,” Chan complained.  
Feeldog sighed, “I guess that’s true.”   
Hansol spoke up, “If we made the teams random, then it would be fair.”  
“How would we do that?” Euijin asked.  
“We could draw straws,” Hojung suggested. “Shortest straws are the captains. They can draw names to form their teams.”  
“Okay,” Euijin nodded in agreement, “Let’s decide the captains and teams tonight after dinner. We can start the game tomorrow after breakfast.”   
“We’ll have the Captains pick which side of the meadow they want,” Feeldog added.   
They set about gathering twigs that were all about the same length and width. Then used a knife to cut two twigs down till they were shorter than the remaining six. Everyone wrote their names down on small rectangles of paper that they folded and put in a bowl.   
Feeldog painted a small dot of color on four similarly sized rocks: blue for the north woods, red for the south, yellow for the east, and white for the west. “That way everything will be random,” he declared.   
They put the twigs in a short, dark drinking-glass and passed it around drawing lots with their eyes closed. Hojung was the first to draw a short stick followed by Marco.   
Hojung went first and, closing his eyes, he picked up a piece of paper. He unfolded the scrap and read, “Chan.”  
Chan, apparently surprised, went to stand by Hojung.   
Marco was next. He copied Hojung’s actions, only the name he picked was, “Euijin.”   
Euijin smiled and did a wave dance and a little spin that landed him beside Marco. “Okay!” He had a huge smile on his face. “I have a good feeling about this team.”  
Hojung chose another teammate, “Jun.”  
Marco pursed his lips and mixed the remaining scraps, taking his time, before he chose one. “Hansol.” He read aloud.   
There were two names left. The captain’s eyes kept darting to Feeldog’s direction and avoiding Daewon’s. Daewon had a tendency to be unlucky during games. Feeldog liked to win and usually did.   
Swallowing, Hojung carefully drew his last teammate. He still had hope that, with Feeldog’s help, they could win even if they had both of the two little kids. Slowly, he unfolded the paper, “Daewon.” He quietly read aloud.   
Daewon raised a fist in the air and excitedly exclaimed, “yes!”  
Chan looked at Jun who returned his look. They were both unsure if they were supposed to be happy or disappointed with their last member.   
“That means we have Feeldog,” Marco crowed. He unfolded the last piece of paper and showed Hojung Feeldog’s name then laughed in his face. Feeldog ran over to Euijin and Hansol, leaping. He hugged the other two boys with a whoop.   
Hojung frowned. “We still have one thing left to choose.”   
Feeldog put the pebbles into the same bowl they used for the paper slips. He stirred the stones around while the two captains had their eyes closed and backs turned. “Okay.”   
First, Hojung turned around and, with his eyes still closed, chose one. He closed his fist around the rock before anyone could see it. Next, Marco blindly picked his own stone.   
“Look” Feeldog ordered.  
Hojung opened his fist, and there was a large red dot on the pebble. Hojung smiled and showed it off. His team celebrated happily.   
Marco, with a feeling of dread, opened his own fist and saw a blue dot. Feeldog sank to his knees. Euijin bent down and patted him on the back. All the cousins avoided the north woods when they could. They were steep, rocky, and denser than the east or west woods. Plus, the cousins believed they were haunted. Marco wasn’t sure he even believed in ghosts, but he was confident a haunted forest wasn’t going to be an advantage in tomorrow’s game.  
“Let’s agree beforehand that the winning team’s captain gets to decide a penalty for the losing team captain,” Marco suggested.   
Hojung hesitantly agreed.

At breakfast time, Hojung and Marco ate quietly staring each other down. Marco tried to hide it, but the cuffs of his jeans were wet making it evident that he’d snuck out before everyone was awake and scouted for a team base.   
Hojung, on the other hand, had slept in.   
The tension between them affected the other cousins. Jun sat between Chan and Daewon rather than next to Hansol or Feeldog. Even Kijoong seemed to feel the tension. He curled up next to Daewon with his head on the teen’s shoulder, slowly picking at his foo   
As soon as the last dish was washed and set in the rack to dry, they were out the door, running through the long meadow grass. 

Hojung’s team followed Daewon, “are you sure you know a good place?”   
“I was watching the deer one day, and I found this natural fort.” Daewon excitedly explained. He lead them to a serpentine bend in the stream that had a fallen tree to cross it. He helped lift Chan as Jun was already climbing up on the log on his own. They were right at the boundary where the east woods met the south. “Careful it might be slippery.”   
With deliberate, slow steps, the younger boys crossed. Daewon followed, leading Kijoong step-by-step, and holding tightly to his hand. Hojung was last. Smiling widely, he sprinted across, Hojung jumped off and landed like a graceful cat. The roots of the fallen tree formed a twisting curling mass at the end of the natural bridge. There was a small slope and, after climbing the hill, there was a tall tree that towered over the other with low hanging branches that made it easy to climb. With a lookout in that tree, it would be easy to see anyone crossing the stream. There were smaller trees that would one day grow as tall and be as old as the giant growing close to it. With the help of the younger kids, Daewon and Hojung bent the young trees and tied them to make a type of tent or hut. In the middle, they hung their 'flag,' a striped dish towel that was worn so thin it was almost see through. Hojung started climbing the tree. On his back, he had a backpack. He was a nimble and quick climber.   
“This is the best fort.” Jun declared, “no one will see us.”   
“I bet that the other’s won’t find one this good.” Chan gloated.

Marco’s team headed straight north until he was sure that the other side couldn’t see them, then they veered a sharp northwest. He lead them uphill until they found a gnarled old pine tree with two large boulders to the left of the tree. One boulder, it was a little further up the hill, leaned on top of the second slab of granite. This would be their base. The flag, a long strip of a bright yellow tee shirt of Feeldog’s, was tied to one of the pine tree’s branches. Marco had to balance on top of the first boulder to tie it, but technically, he claimed when Hansol said something, it was easy to see and get to.  
“So, what’s your strategy?” Feeldog asked as he lay out a mat that they could sit on.   
The most tedious part of the game was waiting at the base for the other team to find you. The south woods was thickest where it met the west woods and thinnest in the middle. Beyond its edges, lay a large farm with acres of cabbages filling a graceful slope down to a house on a dirt road. On the other side of the road, lay still more fields filled with an assortment of crops. The hard part of being captain was knowing who to send out as a scout and who to leave guarding the fort.   
“Feeldog and Hansol, you two start out as scouts. Euijin, you guard the fort. Call out as loud as you can if you see them coming. I’m going to gather ammunition.” Marco ordered.   
Euijin groaned.   
“You brought a book? Didn’t you?” Feeldog asked him.   
Euijin didn’t answer. He grumbled under his breath. No one liked being stuck at the fort.  
They all went their separate ways, except for Euijin who settled in with his book. 

Marco walked softly through the dense trees, his feet at an angle to compensate for the sloping hillside. The sunlight filtered through the trees leaving patches of light and dark on the ground. The ground flattened, and trees suddenly thinned, before him lay a blackened ruin. All that remained of a much older, traditional style house was a few walls and a foundation. Weeds, grass, and even a few young trees grew within its four walls. At night, when the cousins made up ghost stories, this house always played a key role. They’d visited the ruin only a handful of times.   
Marco swallowed and quickly walked to the base of towering pine and began gathering pine cones in a bag.

Feeldog and Hansol separated. Hansol went to the west in the southern woods. There wasn’t a trace of the other team in the thin section or the cabbage fields. Feeldog started out feeling confident that he’d find them in a few minutes but they weren’t any of the places that quickly came to mind. When, before him, he saw movement in the brush. Stealthily, he walked forward, crouching low in the hope that he wouldn’t be seen. A bucket of cold water splashed down over his head and shoulders. Standing up sputtering, Feeldog suddenly was tackled down to the ground by two quick shadows that it took a minute for him to register as Chan and Daewon. Jun quickly pulled the shoes off his feet. His attackers were gone as fast as they appeared. He could hear them laughing and crowing about their success.   
He was halfway back to the house, walking gingerly and cursing Hojung’s team with every step when he ran into Hansol.   
Wide-eyed the younger boy asked, “What happened to your shoes?”   
“They’re playing dirty.” Feeldog fumed “I was ambushed.”  
At the house, he found a pair of flip-flops, but he knew that he was basically out of the game except for guarding their base. Scowling, Feeldog slipped into his new footwear. “I think you should find Marco and pair up with him.”   
Dispirited, they returned to their base.   
Euijin laughed so hard at Feeldog’s pathetic wet and angry state that he almost ended up rolling around on their mat.   
Marco, who’d returned with plastic bags full of pinecones, dropped the bag. “This means war.” He declared. “You’re sure that they’re in the south-east corner?”  
“Almost certain,” Feeldog replied. “They wouldn’t have hauled water all the way from the house. Their base must be close to the stream.”  
“I bet if you follow the stream, you’ll find them.” Euijin pointed out.  
Marco who’d had almost the exact same thought nodded in agreement.   
“Don’t let your guard down,” Feeldog warned. 

“We’ve got to be getting close,” Marco whispered to Hansol.  
Hansol, eyes wide, carefully took a step forward.   
Somewhere in the distance, they heard a bird-like sound call out two times.   
They both froze.   
“I don’t think that was a real bird,” Hansol whispered.   
“Me either,” Marco agreed. “Come on. They can’t take down both of us.”  
Suddenly, they were under attack. Daewon tackled Marco. Together, they rolled down the spring’s bank ending up wet and covered in grassy mud. Hansol had Jun on his back while Chan grabbed onto one of his legs. Wiggling and kicking, Hansol managed to dislodge Chan and loosen Jun’s hold for a second. Marco started to scramble up the bank when, Daewon in an attempt to restrain him, accidentally pulled down his pants and underwear.   
“Hey, that’s going too far,” Marco yelled, pulling his clothes up.   
Abashed, Daewon let go, and Marco ran free. He helped Hansol dislodge Jun before making a hasty retreat.   
“Someone’s following us. I think they’re hoping we’ll lead them to our flag.” Marco spit out between breaths as he gulped for air.   
By the time they’d reached their base, they’d lost their tail.   
“I was terrified that I was going to lose my shoes.” A winded Hansol collapsed on the porch. “Should we go back to base?”   
“I don't know. If we have Euijin, then there’s no way they can get all three of us, but that leaves Feeldog to guard the base.”   
“I don't even think they’re trying to find our base. I think they’re only defending their own flag.”   
“Let’s get Euijin then.” 

Feeldog wasn’t happy to be left alone at the base, but one look at Marco’s sorry state made him keep his thoughts to himself.   
“They’re scary,” Hansol warned the oldest cousin. “Watch out for Daewon. He’s the worst.”   
The scouting team had changed to a raiding party. Marco had given them each a small plastic bag filled with pinecones. Hansol found a long branch that could do double-duty as a staff and walking stick. Marco lead them along a different route, hoping that maybe the lookout wouldn’t see them. Close to their ambush location, they heard the bird noise call out three times.   
Marco pushed Hansol forward while he and Euijin backed him up.   
“I think that bird was Hojung,” Euijin whispered.   
“The stream gets deeper a little bit south of here. If we’re going to cross, we should cross now.” Marco ordered.   
“You go first,” Euijin suggested.   
Marco made an ugly face at the older boy but still carefully crossed. Euijin was next; Marco lent him a hand to help him up the stream’s bank. Hansol was about to take a step down the sloping bank when three figures moved in the shadows to his left and right.   
“Hansol, look behind you,” Marco shouted.  
Hansol’s staff came down hard on Daewon’s shoulder, but that didn't deter him. He reached out and grabbed onto the branch, attempting to disarm Hansol. The other boy tried to shake him off but he couldn’t. Jun and Chan came out from the sides, each grabbing one of Hansol’s arms. Euijin rushed back into the stream to help his teammate. Marco started throwing pinecone grenades at Daewon. The tables turned in Marco’s team’s favor as Daewon was now the one taking the most damage. They were sure they had him when Hansol let out a yelp of pain. The fighting stopped.   
“I think I sprained my ankle,” Hansol admitted.   
“Truce.” Daewon offered. “We’ll help you take him as far as the house.”

Taking turns, they supported Hansol till they reached the house’s front steps.   
Daewon cut what remained of the old yellow t-shirt into strips and wrapped up Hansol’s ankle the best he could.   
“Will you really be okay being here by yourself?” Jun worried.  
“I’ll be fine.” Hansol comforted him. 

Euijin and Marco watched as the other three made their way back south across the meadow.   
The oldest cousin sighed and kicked a rock in the yard. “I don’t feel like going back to Feeldog and explaining that we’re losing.”  
“The game’s not over,” Marco grumbled.   
Euijin raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side and shrugged. “All we need to do is to get their flag and bring it back to the house, but we can’t even get close enough to find their base.”   
Marco couldn’t argue with that. He changed tactics. “Let’s follow them.” 

Marco’s heart pounded in his chest as they reached the edge of the south wood. They’d lost sight of the other three boys so he’d decided that they’d head straight south-east. He expected to hear Hojung’s weird bird call, but the forest was mostly silent. Up ahead, the stream curved and he spotted Hojung climbing up a large tree.   
“He hasn’t seen us yet,” Euijin whispered and rushed forward.   
Marco reached to grab his shoulder to warn him that the stream pooled and deepened to waist height. The banks were high and steep. But Euijin was too quick, and he ended up with a handful of air. This wasn’t good, Marco thought to himself. The tree Hojung was in one of the oldest and tallest in the woods surrounding the meadow. No wonder he’d been able to see when them approaching.   
Euijin reached the fallen tree and started crossing. He was hit by a barrage of well-aimed pinecones. Almost slipping and falling off, he caught himself and crawled the rest of the way.   
Hojung, safely back up in the lower branches, waited for Euijin to be almost directly below him and dumped a whole bucket of water on his opponent’s head.   
Euijin sputtered and didn’t bother to brush the wet hair out of his eyes as he climbed the rest of the way up towards their flag. The second bucket of water splashed down over him, and Euijin was grabbed from behind. They forced him down to his knees, binding his hands and feet. He was the enemy’s captive now.

Marco trudged his way back to their base where Feeldog waited, aware that either Jun or Chan followed, but they were sneaky enough to hide when he turned around.   
“Where are the other’s?” The cousin’s leader demanded.   
“Hansol is out with a sprained ankle, and Euijin’s been captured.” Marco lifelessly explained. He described their opponent’s base: that the terrain made defense easy, how they’d used ropes to haul buckets of water up into the tree, and planted sharpened sticks around the tree’s foot.  
Feeldog cursed.   
“I’d give them twenty minutes, and they’ll be here.” Marco sighed. “We need to think of a plan.”

Their enemy attempted a sneak attack from the side. When that failed, Jun and Chan worked together to get Marco and Feeldog's attention while Hojung in a beautiful feat of agility managed to climb onto of their boulder, untie the flag, and leap off. He landed in a crouch and started running. He zigzagged down the steep hillside, dodging trees.  
Hojung had to take the flag to the house to count as a win. If they stopped him and retrieved their flag, then the game wouldn't be over.   
Not wanting to lose this badly, Feeldog, dodging Jun, started after him. He was so close he could almost grab the other boy’s tee when he tripped and fell to his knees hard, skinning one. He palms stung. When he lifted one, he’d realized that he’d skinned that as well and it bleed from a small cut. The younger kids fled past him.   
Marco helped him to stand. “Let’s just give them this win. They worked hard for it.”  
At first, Feeldog was speechless but then he burst out laughing. “I want to check on Hansol.”   
Marco packed up their meager belongings. 

Back at the house, Hansol pouted while Hojung lounged on the porch, smiling like a contented cat.   
Jun sitting beside Hansol and, as soon as he saw Feeldog and Marco approach, he shouted out. “We won!”  
A little while later, Chan arrived with Daewon and Euijin carrying Kijoong on his back.   
“You all never stood a chance. We knew we’d won as soon as Daewon showed us the tree.” Chan gloated.  
"Marco and Euijin never would've made it close to the base if Hojung hadn't had to pee. He could see everything." Jun bragged. 

“How did you get that scratch by your hairline?” Feeldog asked Euijin.  
“PInecone,” Euijin answered. “What happened to your hand?”  
“Flip-flops.” Feeldog let out a long sigh and shook his head back and forth slowly, “I tripped. Scrapped it up pretty good.”   
“Daewon has your shoes in his bag. They had them tied and hanging from the tree like a trophy.” Euijin paused, “I’m worried about Daewon’s shoulder." Euijin explained about the fight and Hansol hitting him with his stick. "I think it’s going to be a giant bruise by tomorrow morning.”   
Feeldog suddenly remembered, “Tomorrow’s market day.”  
Euijin nodded, lips pursed together. “There’s no way Hansol can dance with that ankle, and we’ll have to adjust your part.”  
“Daewon should rest his shoulder. That means no tumbling tomorrow.” Feeldog felt responsibility crashing down on his shoulders.   
Hojung called them all to gather at the porch. “Now, for Marco’s penalty.”  
Marco unhappily glared at the winning captain.  
Hojung smile took up most of his face. “Tonight, at midnight, Marco has to visit the ghost house and count to fifty before he leaves.”   
“Midnight is too late. We have to get up early tomorrow.” Euijin reminded Hojung.  
The winning captain amended the penalty, “Then, at nightfall, Marco has to visit the ghost house and remain inside for the count of fifty.”   
Everyone, even a reluctant Marco, agreed. 

That night, Marco holding a small flashlight, said goodbye to everyone who gathered on the porch to send him off. As soon as he was near the north woods, Daewon and Hansol put the younger kids to bed. Euijin and Feeldog sat watching on the porch. Hojung slipped outside and pulled a ball cap down over his eyes. The other flashlight stuck up from his back pant’s pocket.   
“Where are you going?” Euijin asked, but he already had an idea where Hojung was headed.   
“To pretend to be a ghost,” Hojung answered.   
“Wait. And I’ll go with you.” Feeldog stood and found his shoes. They’d finally dried out.   
“What about me?” Euijin questioned, not wanting to be left out.  
“Someone has to keep an eye on the house.” Feeldog reminded him.

Slowly, Feeldog and Hojung crept across the meadow. When they reached the tire tracks, Hojung lead Feeldog along a different path the house than Marco had taken. They entered the clearing surrounding the ruins and hid behind a low wall. They only had to wait a few minutes before Marco appeared.   
The pranksters tried hard not to laugh as he talked himself into walking into the house. There he started to count to fifty as fast he could.   
Hojung threw a stick and caused a crashing sound.   
Marco jumped and lost track of what number he'd reached.   
Hojung threw another stick and Feeldog, holding his hand over the top part of the flashlight causing strange shadows to dance across his face, slowly stood up from behind the wall.   
Seeing him, Marco let out a small scream and stumbled backward, almost falling. His eyes were wide with fright.   
Feeldog started laughing, and then Hojung popped up with a boo.   
Marco took another step back and then, as his flashlight revealed who the haunts were, cursed them loudly.   
On the way back to the house, the others teased him relentlessly. They’d taken Hojung’s route and walked along the tire tracks.  
Suddenly, Marco turned off his flashlight and snatched the other from Feeldog’s hand. “Quiet,” Marco whispered. His voice was one hundred percent serious. “Someone is standing there by that tree watching the house.”  
“What?” Hojung asked.   
“I think I saw it too.” Feeldog’s voice trembled slightly.   
Hojung grabbed onto the back of Feeldog’s shirt. They silently walked towards where the trees thinned, and the house came into view. Marco handed Feeldog back his flashlight. The leader mimicked the younger boy and left it off.   
Marco walked over to a large tree and, after looking around carefully, knelt down by the foot of a tree. He picked something up. “They’re gone now. Whoever it was must’ve heard us coming.” He turned his light on and turned a circle, trying to see if he spotted anyone.   
Feeldog did the same thing.   
Neither teen found anything.   
“I think you imagined it,” Hojung mumbled, fear causing him to clench his fist tight.   
“Maybe.” Marco agreed.  
“It’s easy to think you see things in the woods at night.” Feeldog shrugged.  
Marco played along, ”It was probably the moonlight making a weird shadow.”   
When they were a few steps away from the courtyard, Marco discreetly passed something to Feeldog who carefully put it in his pocket. 

Euijin had music playing softly as he dozed with a book resting on his stomach. He was carefully folded up in the corner of the sofa.   
It was so easy, Feeldog thought, to walk into the house without the others waking or knowing that they were there. Despite what he said, Feeldog was sure that he’d seen the tall silhouette of a man by the tree. He was convinced that Marco had seen the same thing.   
When the other two climbed the ladder to go to sleep in the loft, Feeldog leaned over and shook Euijin awake.   
“You’re home?” The oldest cousin asked in a voice slurred by sleep.   
“We need to make some new rules. The first one is the front door gets locked every night.” Feeldog dug into his pocket and pulled out the thing Marco had given him.   
Euijin, suddenly wide awake, sat up. “What happened?”   
“Someone’s watching the house. Remember the bikes?” Feeldog opened his palm and showed Euijin a fresh cigarette butt. “All I saw was a shadow, but it was definitely a man, and he was tall.”  
Euijin stretched, “at least, we know he’s watching us now.”  
Feeldog locked the door and sat on the other end of the sofa “I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight.”  
“I’ll stay up with you.” Euijin offered.   
Ten minutes later, they were both asleep. The game had tired everyone out. 

Marco woke them in the morning with a box filled with foodstuffs similar to what the church handed out. He'd hardly slept the night before and, at the crack of dawn, gone out to see if the watcher had left any other clues. “This was waiting by the tree. Whoever it is, knows we saw him. Why else would he leave it there?” He handed a piece of paper to Feeldog, “there was a note.”   
Feeldog read aloud: “Some supplies to help you out.” Instead of a signature, there was a simple drawing of an angel.   
“I think we should keep this just between the three of us for now.” Feeldog folded the paper and shoved it in his pocket. “Let’s put this food away before the other kids see it.”


End file.
